World Cup Analysis

Diagnosis England

By Phil Blackwell Golden Balls, Swollen Balls, Bugger All. In the land of excessive hope and little glory, English football fans are once again left with nothing to celebrate and only scapegoats [...]


By Phil Blackwell

Golden Balls, Swollen Balls, Bugger All.

In the land of excessive hope and little glory, English football fans are once again left with nothing to celebrate and only scapegoats to find.

To say that ’s flawed World Cup campaign was embarrassing is nothing short of an understatement, it was simply pathetic.

Another quarter-final exit at the hands of the Portuguese confirmed their status as a team of overpaid prima-donnas lacking in both the passion and ability needed to succeed on the world stage.

And, as expected, the main focus of media criticism has been manager Sven-Goran Eriksson. However it would be wrong to ignore the lack of form evident in Germany from the majority of his players.

For the third successive time under the guidance of the personality void Swede, performances on the pitch failed catastrophically to meet pre-tournament hype.

Some would argue that unexpected levels of heat and minor fitness issues are to blame, but it is more realistic to look deeper into the true foundations of English optimism.


By time the World Cup started on 9 June, people were actually convinced that just four weeks later they would be celebrating football coming home. Failure was not an option

Weeks, if not months prior to every major football tournament, an ever increasing display of patriotism and pride is apparent for all to see on the streets of . Newspapers build the nations hopes up to levels where disappointment becomes inevitable, and constant reminders of 1966 echo in the hearts and minds of supporters across the country.

So much so, that by time the World Cup started on 9 June, people were actually convinced that just four weeks later they would be celebrating football coming home. Failure was not an option.

I must admit that I too was guilty of such immersion and naivety. Although aware of Wayne Rooney’s metatarsal injury, Michael Owen’s poor form, Sven’s tactical ignorance, Gerrard and Lampard’s inability to play together, Walcott’s selection, and our habit of losing on penalties, I was certain more than ever that this was going to be our year.

All negative factors were blindly twisted into deluded positive hope. There was no opinion or event that could change my view of an heroic team returning from Germany triumphant in their quest to conquer the world.

Instead, the ‘11 Lions’, as described on the side of the team bus, had as much bite as a sedated pussy cat. A series of spineless performances, ‘bad luck’ and meagre excuses would only ever result in yet another heart-breaking conclusion.

It is easy to blame Rooney’s red card, the Argentine referee, and Sven’s often questionable tactics for ’s premature exit, but in my opinion that is just plain ignorance of the facts.

If are ever to repeat the glory of 66, a chain of events must occur unbroken and undisturbed. Similar to the famous Honda ‘Cog’ advert of a few years back, the team is delicately balanced between success and failure.

It is probably not too extreme to suggest that if had won each of the games in which they were eliminated over the past six years, we could have possibly been celebrating a hat-trick of tournament wins last Sunday.


After all of the hype, banter and hope, remains as close to a major tournament success as they were just over a month ago

Much was said over the suitability of David Beckham as captain before the World Cup, and the debate of his selection still ensues to an extent, even after his resignation of the armband. But his dignity, passion, humility and pride are signs of a man only ever determined to do his best for his team and his country.

He is deserving of respect and gratitude from English football followers, and his example is one that a certain Mr Rooney could do with acknowledging. Let’s hope that his act of petulance against Portugal is succeeded in a similar vein to Beckham after his dismissal in 1998.

After all of the hype, banter and hope, remains as close to a major tournament success as they were just over a month ago.

But we will still support them, still live each minute, kick every ball, and share every emotion, because as fans it is our duty to rise above defeat and believe the impossible.

We let our hearts rule our heads, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Come on . European Champions 2008 - maybe.

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