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New Year, New Start? Not For Blathering Blatter

By Paul Angelo Sampson ⋅ January 16, 2008 ⋅  Print This Post ⋅ Post a comment

A new year, a new start. Though it appears at least one man is so habitually resolute that he will change absolutely nothing about himself in 2008.

We were treated, this week, to further illogical utterings from our esteemed president of Fifa, Mr Sepp Blatter. This time the following words came out of his mouth in the following order, “It is surprising that the motherland of football seeks a manager from outside of England”. It appears that Mr Blatter believes that when England hired Sven-Göran Eriksson they were hiring a Grimsby-born lad with alopecia and a speech impediment. When they offered the job to ‘Big Phil’ he thought they meant the one from the pie and mash shop down the Old Kent Road and that José Mourinho is a product of the Chelsea youth system.

He goes on to say, “In football, the main objective is to score a goal. So even if you have conceded 10 goals but scored one, you have achieved part of your objective”. Time, then, for Mr Blatter to resign his ‘til now clandestine role as Reading’s defensive coach.

Of course, we understand the ethic he refers to there but no one can really lay claim to being surprised that England have appointed a foreign manager. Before McClaren there came a Swede; after the Swede, they hoped would come a Brazilian; and before they appointed an Italian, they offered the job to a Portuguese.

In order to spare Mr Blatter’s ageing heart from more potentially shocking news he should be made aware of the following likelihoods: Derby County Football Club might just be relegated; Paris Hilton may once again be found fellating on digital video tape and the clear liquid seen in Lindsay Lohan’s glass may not be two parts hydrogen, one part oxygen.

(Any thanks forthcoming at this juncture from the Amy Winehouse or the Johnson’s Baby Powder camps are graciously received).

Similarly resolute in his stance this January is one Rafa Benitez. With his Liverpool team currently 12 points adrift of Arsenal in the league, Rafa has attested his side are still not out of the title race and indeed are good enough to be champions. He proved this point by scraping a masterful draw against Luton, rendering us all magnanimously apologetic for doubting him. With us firmly back on side he went on to argue the case for Creationism over Evolution beyond any reasonable doubt. Rafa and God are awesome.

It does appear, then, that with Liverpool rendered lame and Chelsea’s African contingent changing course, the title is now a two horse race. Unless, that is, Chelsea can replace their missing players with unprecedented speed and success, a task our new friend Mr Grant may find hard to fulfill in four short weeks. That won’t, however, stop him trying and we can only hope that the Blues offer the sort of resilience required to make a sustained push to reclaim the title in the interests of true and real competition.

Manchester United and Arsenal have shown the sort of class and consistency needed to win the league but nothing short of significant improvement has been demonstrated elsewhere by the likes of Manchester City, Everton and Aston Villa. Perhaps the job David Moyes has done with Everton means that his is the least surprising success story of the three but he deserves no less praise than Martin O’Neill and Sven-Göran Eriksson.

Whether or not these teams can over achieve still further over the season remains to be seen but they would not have been expected to have amassed as many points as they have done over 20-odd games thus far and credit must be given where credit is due.

At Manchester City the players show the sort of passion, desire and effort missing from most of the England team’s displays when playing under the same manager. It appears under Sven, the City players stand taller. Perhaps he leant them his shoes. Perhaps he is proving that he really is better suited to club management, unrestricted in team selection by nationality.

If, however, Manchester City or Everton harbour genuine ambitions of contesting fourth spot they will need to acquire the tenacity of the Manchester United team of 1999; the efficiency of the Chelsea team of 2005; and the lasagna recipe from the Arsenal team chef, the very same as the one the Tottenham players sampled in 2006.

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