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No country for tall men
Keegan and Toshack. Quinn and Phillips. Owen and Heskey. Football is littered with successful examples of the ‘classic’ big man/little man partnerships.
The theory being that the bigger of the two throws his considerable bulk around, unsettles defenders and generally causes a nuisance while the diminutive, usually nippy, ever-grateful partner feeds off the disarray to poach and plunder. Simple.
In such situations, there are even tried and tested stereotypes that have to be adhered to. The little man has to be pacy, direct, and something of a sniffer for goals. Think Jermaine Defoe. Meanwhile the big man is the unselfish, bludgeoning behemoth, as aggressive and uncompromising as he is unsophisticated. No frills. No nonsense. Duncan Ferguson. Kevin Davies.
What’s more he has to be prolific and reliable aerially, else why bother having a target man in the first place? Try and play the target man role without being able to dominate aerially and you’re on to a loser; the taller you are the more derision you’ll invite.
Which brings me on to Peter Crouch. Look for any feature, interview or match review concerning the Liverpool and England striker and you’ll be beseiged by phrases like ‘lanky’, ‘beanpole’ and ‘giant’.
And all that height has an adverse affect - it causes people to to think of him as a target man, and then dismiss him for his lack of physical presence and aerial ability. Yet look to his goalscoring record (especially given the rarity of a Crouch start at Anfield these days) and the figures are reasonably impressive - eight in 35 appearances this season, 20 in 83 during his Liverpool career.
Bearing in mind Crouch has started just seven league games this season, yet has scored as many as Dirk Kuyt (who’s been afforded three times as many starts), the return is far from unreasonable. Given a more sustained run in the Liverpool first team, few would back against Crouch adding to that tally, as his excellent goal against Arsenal on the weekend testified.
Yet when he does start, too often players are drawn into lumping the ball listlessly and witlessly forward, as if never before having met the Macclesfield-born forward. And it’s in this fact that the real burden of the beanpole is made evident.
If Peter Crouch were half a foot shorter, he’d be acknowledged as a top striker.
Good with his feet, aware of players around him, capable of holding up a ball and making space for a team-mate, and an eye for goal which has seen him fire in a few acrobatic volleys in recent seasons. He’ll never get you twenty or more in a season, but he’s the kind of player you’d be happy to see up front with your regular goal-getter.
Instead he’s forced to warm the Liverpool bench with his lofty frame, making the occasional cameo when he’s called upon. And if recent reports are to be believed, he’s ready to call time on his Anfield stay and move on to more admiring, appreciative pastures, his England ambitions suffering from his stalled club career.
So where should the former Southampton player head next? He needs a team big enough to keep him in Mr Capello’s plans. He needs a manager with an eye for a player with untapped potential. He needs a team lacking a forward capable of holding up the ball, and a strike partner quick enough and predatory enough to feed off his ability to create opportunities.
Only one team fits the bill, and it’s territory the striker knows only too well, having worn the shirt before. Fortunately, they’re not shy of taking back a former employee after he’s turned out for their bitter rivals, down on the south coast. Just ask Harry Redknapp.
Crouch and Defoe, next season for Portsmouth. Another potential ‘classic’ big-man/little-man combo.
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Tags: England, Fabio Capello, Harry Redknapp, Jermain Defoe, Michael Owen, Peter Crouch, Rafa Benitez 
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good article but i need to know how old crouch is!
Crouch is 27.
Decent article. Im not a fan of him myself, but cant argue with much youve said. The main critiscm i always have of him is that he doesnt attack the ball as someone of his size should. But there is your point made. You always refer to him with regards to his size.
Im still not a fan of his by any means. But good article.
I’m a big Peter Crouch fan and I agree with you that he is getting limited opportunity. He is incredibly flexible and as you rightly point out a great footballer. He would be a massive loss to Liverpool but unless they start using him properly as you suggest I think there is a good chance he will go elsewhere.