Global, Monday Miscellany, Premier League
The Monday Miscellany
Sunday was a curious day in the Premier League, as Chelsea played like Manchester Utd, Manchester Utd played like Newcastle and Newcastle played like Chelsea. Chelsea’s performance was the most exciting, signalling a new adventurous approach under the stewardship of Luiz Felipe Scolari, but in one respect Newcastle’s was the most encouraging. By [...]
Sunday was a curious day in the Premier League, as Chelsea played like Manchester Utd, Manchester Utd played like Newcastle and Newcastle played like Chelsea. Chelsea’s performance was the most exciting, signalling a new adventurous approach under the stewardship of Luiz Felipe Scolari, but in one respect Newcastle’s was the most encouraging. By having the courage to try to pose a constant attacking threat, they demonstrated to the rest of the Premier League that the way to get a result against one of the ‘big four’ is not to put nine men behind the ball and hope for a lucky day and a 0-0 draw (hello, Portsmouth).
Newcastle have signed some truly terrible players in recent years but their two Argentinean summer signings both impressed on the débuts against the toughest of oppositions. Defender Fabrizio Coloccini would appear to be the solid and dependable defender Newcastle have been craving since about 1959, while Jonás Gutiérrez not only threatened on the left-wing but displayed a work rate and energy lacking in too many of Newcastle’s recent imports.
The irony is, even Newcastle’s notoriously optimistic fans have not been approaching the season with their usual unrelenting keenness. Uncertainties surrounding Mike Ashley’s ownership, injuries to Viduka and Owen and the Joey Barton scandal have combined with the credit crunch to cause many fans not to renew their season tickets. Those who travelled to Manchester with typical passion and vocal energy were richly, and unexpectedly, rewarded.
***
Chelsea were simply frightening in their disembowelling of Portsmouth at Stamford Bridge on Sunday, with Deco having the best début for the club I’ve seen since Mario Stanic scored twice in a 4-2 win against West Ham in August 2000, one a magnificent volley from thirty yards after juggling the ball on his knee. But they were aided and abetted by a truly awful Portsmouth performance, who were every bit as poor as they were in the league towards the end of last season, only now they cannot use the distraction of a forthcoming FA Cup Final as an excuse. Still, it was nice to see Lassana Diarra having his most productive game for Chelsea.
***
When the Czech Republic visit Wembley on Wednesday night they will be without two key players. Tomás Rosicky is merely injured but Jan Koller has a proper excuse. His new team, Russian side Krylia Sovetov Samara, have just played a league match at Luch-Energiya of Vladivostock and the 12-hour flight from the Eastern tip of Russia to London would render him unplayable. Fabio Capello, of course, would never consider flying an ageing star halfway around the world just to play a friendly.
***
I am an agnostic, but during Manchester City’s UEFA Cup matches against EB/Streymur Islands I began to wonder if there is a god controlling our language as the Faroese side have a goalkeeper whose name René Tórgard, Tórgard roughly translating as ‘goalkeeper’. If there is, it is probably the same ethereal figure that waved his linguistic wand during Manchester Utd’s 2001-02 Premiership campaign. Having replaced Jaap Stam with the ageing Frenchman Laurent Blanc, United’s first five league defeats came against Bolton, Liverpool, Arsenal, Newcastle and Chelsea. Now, if only I could think of an acronym to help recall those five teams in future…
***
At the climax of the film Psycho, two characters turn out to be different parts of the same person. The same might be about to happen at Stoke City, who last Friday signed two Senegalese internationals named Mr A. Faye, though whether anybody has seen both Abdoulaye and Amdy on the same pitch at the same time is not yet clear.
***
Those pamphleteers of gospel the Daily Mirror reported this week, with a seemingly straight face, that Everton boss David Moyes is ready to table a £10m offer for Manchester City’s Michael Johnson after watching the central midfielder in midweek. Having watched the same match as Moyes, in which Manchester City feebly succumbed 1-0 at home to Scandinavian hardly-household-names FC Midtjylland, I’m surprised Everton, hardly known as free-spending, felt any City players merited a bid of more than the price of a return flight to Denmark.
***
Arsenal and Chelsea supporters should swap clubs. Arsenal fans want their team to knuckle down and grind out wins without all the fannying about that resulted in them playing 86 first time passes against West Brom (beating the previous Premier League record of eight) but still having to hang on to a single-goal lead for 85 minutes. At Stamford Bridge, meanwhile, heaven and earth have been moved to get Chelsea to play with style to satisfy their catatonic supporters and unimpressed owner.
***
This week my spellchecker has a piece of advice for those of you thinking of going for an Italian; Portsmouth’s French midfielder becomes ‘Lasagna: Diarrhoea’. And finally, is it just me, or do the four Sikh men who have season tickets behind the away dugout at Old Trafford sit in a slightly different configuration for each match?
Tags: Discussion
13 comments for “The Monday Miscellany”
Post a comment
Welcome to Footballing World
Recent Posts
In Focus
Jonathon Craigie believes Rafa Benítez has finally found the key to securing Premier League glory for Liverpool.
Featured Posts
Fabio Capello's reign began slowly but England have since shone in World Cup qualifying, a return to the days of Sven-Goran Eriksson when progressing into major tournaments was always a facile task.
Jonathan O'Shea looks at the English quartet's chances of progressing into the knockout stages of the Uefa Cup.
How important is Javier Mascherano for Liverpool? Chakrit Narula believes the all-action Argentine could be a future captain following his terrific impact since arriving at Anfield.
Just about the best football column on the net! You had me worried there wasn’t gonna be one today…
Every season MU started in slow gear and will of course speed up after mid season leaving others behind.That has been the culture and will always be. Anyway New Csstle could have been down by at least 4 or 5 goals if not for Given top goal keeping. As for the New Castle players they have not improve at all and will stay that way all season.
you obv did not watch the match to say that newcastle players have not improved i was at the game and the only thing that needed improvin was your shit fans which will stay that way all season!
That post by man u is one of a typical utd supporter. Never ever their fault. Bottom line is, we came to the trafford and got a result.. And i dont think anybody will say we didnt deserve a point from our performance.. Great column tho
We played nothing like Chelsea!
Last season Chelsea would sit back for the WHOLE game, we went and attacked man utd, if we went their to defend we would of lost.
To the other poster simply know as ‘man u’ 4 or 5 goals up? One that hit Given’s head was a bit lucky but that was it. A draw was a fair result. It wasn’t just Man utd who had players injured either. Owen, Viduka and Enrique were all injured or unfit.
we got a point from you arogant manc gits ……thats an improvement from last season!!!Wind your kneck in manu
Man Utd wonder why peple don’t like them. Ignorant fans cannot give credit where its due. Guttierez was the best player on the pitch. Colocini, after a shaky opening 10 minutes settled down and showed he has class. I do believe Man Utd will battle with Chelsea for the Premier League title again this season, but thats probably because I don’t wear blinkers. If you couldn’t see your own teams short comings on Sunday and choose instead to look for them in a team that in reality shouldn’t be living with Man Utd, your in for a disappointing season. You were lacking a quality frontman, its a good job Fergies in charge of the team and not you.
Typical Man U reaction utter gobshite.If we havnt improved then how come you didnt beat us by 5 the main word being Didnt.there are 11 players on a pitch and given is one of them 11.Jonas ripped you to shreds,guthrie stopped scholes and collocini looked solid.And what fuckin culture is this that Man U cant have bad seasons lmao if you look at football history all teams have bad years .Liverpool,arsenal and yes Man u have all underachieved at some point in the last 20 years so dont be too cocky nuthin lasts forever.Your great team is slowly starting to show signs of ageing the new players you have coming thru are not of the calibre they once were.When that day comes i,ll be pissing myself laughing when all your corporate fans leave for pastures new and all the hangers on find new teams,tho this might be a good thing for your true supporters who then might create some kind of atmosphere inside OT once again.
So if the NUFC players havent got better, with our results against man u last season does that mean man u players have dropped there game ??
NUFC FAN
Newcastle is all one word mate. And after just one game how can you tell that the Newcastle players have not improved and won’t all season . Have you got a crystal ball.
Please, please, please can NUFC play like that all season. Did Man U not have the best defence of last season. Jonas is going to tear the hearts out of lesser defenses and to say Cocky whatever his name is had only been a signed player for a day and has only been training with taylor for two weeks the defence looked more solid than it has in years. True Given back on form…long may that continue ….but even so I think most would have expected us to get slaughtered…and oh but for a dodgy reffereing descision… surprising from dear old mike…not… we would have won. So if we must play like that all season then waheeey I think that will do fine.
“…to get Chelsea to play with style”…if you got your red blinkered head out of your arse long enough the evidence would already be available to you. Or do you get all your opinions from the hack tabloids you read? Chelsea performances at OT over the last half dozen seasons haven’t been too shabby either, if you can find your way to OT that is!
Hahaha ‘ManU’ are you blind??..you should have gone to Specsavers!! LOL Anyone who saw the match would have witnessed Manchester Untied shit in their pants. Newcastle were all over them and matched them in every part of the pitch. Jonas is a great player like Milner but even better-what a player! Defenses watch out Newcastle is back and it had to be with The Special KK (match made in heaven)
Howay the Toon!!!
Get in there lads!!