The Monday Miscellany

So. José Mourinho is going back to Old Trafford to continue his ‘gladiatorial struggle’ with Sir Alex Ferguson. Except it isn’t really a gladiatorial struggle. For a start, Mourinho and Ferguson seem to get on well, reserving their real contempt for Rafa Benítez and Arsène Wenger / the BBC respectively. And it’s a funny kind of gladiatorial contest where the same side usually wins. With Porto and Chelsea, Mourinho’s teams beat Ferguson’s Manchester Utd six times - once with Porto in the first leg of their 2004 UEFA Champions League triumph, sealed with Costinha’s dramatic late equalizer in Manchester and Mourinho’s jig of delight down the Old Trafford touchline; five times with Chelsea including three in his first season at the club and the 2007 FA Cup Final.

Ferguson’s sole triumph over Mourinho in open play came in a 1-0 Premier League win at Old Trafford in 2005 which didn’t stop Chelsea winning the title with matches to spare. Manchester Utd also won the 2007 Community Shield but that was on penalties after an unremarkable 1-1 draw. Maybe the reason Mourinho likes Ferguson more than Benítez is that the former was always more accommodating.

Meanwhile, Claudio Ranieri returns to Stamford Bridge with his new charges Juventus where, hopefully, he will bring Juan Sebastián Verón on for the right-winger and Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink will replace the right-back; those were his tactical follies when Chelsea lost 3-1 away to ten-man Monaco in the first leg of their ill-fated 2004 Champions League semi final. Had Chelsea overcome the side from the principality, they would have faced Porto in the Final in Gelsenkirchen. Had they won that match, Ranieri would probably have kept his job and Mourinho, as manager merely of the runners up, would not have made himself such an obvious alternative. So maybe Ranieri’s tinkering in Monte Carlo did Chelsea some good in the long term.

The Premier League’s grip on the Champions League doesn’t seem quite as tight as was speculated at the start of the season; there is no outstanding English club this season and Barcelona have, quite rightly, been installed as favourites. Do not be surprised if at least half of the Premier League quartet are eliminated in the Last 16

Real Madrid must improve by February, especially now they have a proper midfield warrior in Lassana Diarra; what price a Madrid derby in the quarter finals, with Atlético having a sporting chance against the inconsistent Porto. Even Roma, who continue to struggle in Serie A, will be no picnic for Arsenal, especially in the concrete jungle that is the Stadio Olimpico.

Indeed, the only ties which appear predictable are Lyon v Barcelona and Sporting Lisbon v Bayern Munich. Villarreal have lost momentum in La Liga and Panathinaikos will provide awkward opposition in the second leg in Athens. The Champions League remains a misnomer; it only starts properly once the league-y bit is out of the way.

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Thursday night was an old-fashioned night of UEFA Cup football; no live TV coverage, even though Tottenham still needed a point against Spartak Moscow to secure progress. No, not even on Satan’s Sports. This columnist was forced to turn to the website of a certain large bookmaker chain (I haven’t been paid to name them, so I’ll just tell you they were started by a man called William Hill) and their ‘BetLive TV’ gizmo (entirely legal, by the way) to follow a match, with pictures the size of an average square on a Monopoly board. Even then it was the wrong match; Manchester City, who had already qualified, away to Racing Santander.

The match was meaningless to Manchester City but not for Racing Santander, who must have thought they’d sealed progress to the last 32 until the last few minutes when two late goals for Paris St-Germain against Twente and a Manchester City consolation goal saw the Spaniard’s eliminated on goal difference. The Ecuador striker Felipe Caicedo - of whom more later - may hardly be a household name in Manchester but he is now a hero in Paris.

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Important wins at the weekend for West Bromwich Albion, Blackburn Rovers and Sunderland, all of whom have reverted to a good old-fashioned 4-4-2 with players playing in their proper positions. Those two remarks are not unrelated. 4-3-3 only works with two fast, creative wingers and a top class, consistent centre forward, which West Brom and Blackburn simply don’t have.

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It is said by many that Manchester United achieved little by beating a mid-table J-League side and the best team from Ecuador in Japan; winning the FIFA Club World Cup may not be particularly demanding but that is not the point. The real achievement in the competition is in qualifying for it.

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What has Scott Carson done to annoy everyone? No, apart from the goals conceded against Croatia and Germany, I mean. It is illogical that Manchester City’s goal yesterday has been accredited as an own goal by the West Bromwich Albion goalkeeper; the ball barely touched him on its way into the home side’s net. If it has to be an own goal, chalk it up against Chris Blunt; Felipe Caicedo’s back-heel was going wide before deflecting off the Northern Ireland winger’s leg, taking the ball just inside Carson’s left-hand post.

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The January transfer window has been opened early, at least for football writers.  Paul Hayward has joined the Guardian on a Bosman from the Daily Mail, to be replaced by a big-name signing, Martin Samuel, who will be sorely missed by readers of the Times.  Samuel is one of the best sports writers around, evidenced by his recent hat-trick of Sports Journalists’ Association of Great Britain’s Writer of the Year award.

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Exactly what was the reason for Liverpool’s peculiar and, to be blunt, confusing combination of grey away shirts and red home shorts and socks at Arsenal? If the decision was made by the referee that grey shorts would clash with Arsenal’s white ones, why were red shorts acceptable given that Arsenal play in red? And if Liverpool forgot to bring their away shorts, why were the red ones even packed?

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The Monday Miscellany will return on 5th January. Merry Christmas and a cheery hanukkah to all.