The Monday Miscellany

Steve Gibson is a popular club chairman.  Often cited as a man who doesn’t make rash sackings after a few bad results, he has now undeceived us all by making a rash sacking after some quite decent results.

It was not being fourth, one point off the top of the Coca-Cola Championship that did for Middlesbrough’s now ex-boss Gareth Southgate; it was the reduction of match attendance figures.  When you’re relegated from the Premier League the TV money drops to such an extent that you can no longer simply disregard lost income from stay-at-home fans.

The fans, it is said, had passed their own verdict on Southgate’s stewardship.  Barely 17,000 turned up for Tuesday’s 2-0 victory over Derby County but that does not appear too shameful a figure considering there were Champions League matches shown in most pubs that evening, that the recession is hitting Teeside particularly brutally and that you can forgive Derby fans for staying at home given their poor recent form on the road.

In comes Gordon Strachan, whose lively manner will be the antithesis of Southgate’s calm attitude which often resulted in him being perceived as overly passive, in the manner of Sven-Göran Eriksson.  But the Championship is a pain to get out of – at least, at the right end.  Middlesbrough are by no means certain even to qualify for the play-offs; nobody is.  There is a great evenness in that division, as Newcastle found on the same evening as the Boro-Derby match, losing 2-1 at Scunthorpe Utd.

The Gibson era has rarely been dull; remember Juninho, Ravanelli, all those cup finals, finally winning a trophy in 2004 and those fantastic comebacks at the Riverside Stadium on the way to the UEFA Cup Final of 2006.  With Strachan at the helm, there is little chance of an outbreak of boredom when it comes to the Middlesbrough story.

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The return of Joe Cole might be considered the second coming, such has been the degree of praise heaped upon the England playmaker for his performance in Chelsea’s 5-0 dismantling of Blackburn Rovers on Saturday.

Joe Cole is not a ‘genius’ but he is a fine player, providing the flair and creativity that is so often expected, but not forthcoming, from Deco.  But the real star of the show was Nicolas Anelka, whose frequent excursions to the left wing opened up the Blackburn defence as easily as if Ryan Nelsen came with his own ring-pull.  Were it not for Paul Robinson, Chelsea may have reached double-figures.

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It is alleged that Rafa Benítez left the decision to risk Fernando Torres until the last minute before Liverpool’s clash with Manchester Utd yesterday as the Spain international was on the verge of not recovering in time for kick-off.  Fortunately, the usual 1.30 Sunday afternoon start was put back to 2.00 by Sky Sports for some reason.  Good thing the clocks went back.

It was a mixture of the unusual and the typical at Anfield.  Lucas is said by some to have played his best ever match for Liverpool, though it was hardly apparent when he scuffed a rushed shot from twenty-five yards in the first half.  His only crime appears to be that he is not Xabi Alonso; he is not useless, he is just not of the quality Liverpool supporters demand from a first team regular.  It is difficult to see him keeping a fit Alberto Aquilani, who made his début for the reserves this week, out of the team.

David N’Gog, too, showed composure in front of goal to seal the 2-0 win, while Jamie Carragher showed a return to form, though the usual signs of clumsiness did make sporadic appearances.  Why he wasn’t sent off for his foul on Michael Owen when the striker was had only Liverpool keeper Pepe Reina to beat late in the match only Andre Marriner will know.

There were more reassuringly familiar features.  Javier Mascherano was sent off against Manchester Utd again: his second yellow was for a daft late challenge on Edwin van der Sar in injury time.  Nemanja Vidic also got his traditional marching orders.  A barely-fit Torres still had enough pace to make Vidic look cumbersome and immobile.  Torres’s relationship with the Serbian central defender is a bit like Didier Drogba’s with Philippe Senderos.  Vidic is simply terrified of him.  May we now be spared the ever-preposterous suggestion that he is the best defender in the league?

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I only heard the last minute or so of radio commentary on the Hull City v Portsmouth match but I think I caught as much drama as anybody else did.  I hardly dare tell those who sat through a fixture in which slightly less happened than does in Samuel Beckett’s “Waiting For Godot” but I saw a ten goal thriller in the Northern Counties East League Premier Division between Pickering Town and Long Eaton Utd.

Neither side – Hull and Portsmouth, that is – were able to handle their nerves, with the game having the feel of a relegation ‘six-pointer’ even though it is still only October.  That Portsmouth have four points, given the hastily-assembled nature of their squad and the laughable inability of their strikers, might be said to be a miracle.

How I long for this season’s relegation battle to be like that in 2005, when matches involving Crystal Palace, Southampton, Norwich City and the team who ultimately avoided the drop, West Bromwich Albion, were often high-scoring thrillers.

On 16th April, Palace and Norwich drew 3-3 at Selhurst Park.  Four days later, Norwich were leading Newcastle 1-0 at Carrow Road before Newcastle equalized in the last minute and Norwich then won it in injury time.  On 30th April, Norwich were beaten 4-3 at Southampton.  On 7th May, Southampton earned a 2-2 draw with a last minute goal at Palace.  Palace were relegated conceding a late goal in a thrilling 2-2 draw at Charlton Athletic.

Those teams may have leaked goals but they could all score.  Palace had Andrew Johnson, whose 21 goals made him the second top scorer in the Premier League that season after Thierry Henry.  Southampton’s Peter Crouch and Kevin Phillips bagged 22 between them.  For West Brom, what price Rob Earnshaw, who got late equalizers away to both Manchester Utd and Arsenal, and a hat-trick at Charlton.  Those goals kept them up.

Portsmouth, though, have no obvious goal threat and thus appear doomed.  Getting into the habit of scoring nils and ones puts so much pressure on a team’s defenders we should hardly be surprised if they make errors.  And if it weren’t for David James, the bookies would probably be paying out already on Portsmouth going down.

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It gets no better for Atlético Madrid.  After their pathetic second half collapse at Stamford Bridge on Wednesday they hosted Real Mallorca in La Liga on Saturday, they replaced coach Abel Resino with former Valencia boss Quique Sánchez Flores.  Things looked up when Josemi, the former Liverpool defender, was sent off in the first half conceding a penalty.  Diego Forlán, twice the top scorer in La Liga, missed the penalty.  In the second half the same happened, with Iván Ramis dismissed.  This time, Forlán scored.  Relief spread around the Vicente Calderón.  Three points, albeit from a scrappy, narrow win, were assured with Mallorca down to nine men.  Quique’s first match as coach was about the result, not the performance.  Cigars out.  Then, in injury time, Mallorca equalized.  Plus ça change.