The Monday Miscellany

…oh, hello. Sorry about that, I was sharing a protracted shaggy dog story with Charlize Theron.

In the long, rambling history of long, rambling World Cup draws, Friday’s must take pride of place as the top – or bottom, depending on your perspective – of the list. Theron decided to become the Alan Davies of the occasion, playing the bemused layman to Jérôme Valcke’s swift efficient expertise. Or so he’d like to think.

Once the balls actually started coming out of the pots, the affair began to move at a fairly zippy pace, though the editor clearly did not have much of a sense of humour. Where was the close-up of David Beckham when England drew the United States? Or Sepp Blatter turning white as Switzerland were left till the very last ball and it became clear they would have to open their campaign against Spain?

Anyway, now we know the draw we may analyse more productively England’s chances of success in South Africa. Certainly, their group could have been much harder. Though their first opponents, the United States, were arguably the strongest side in Pot 2, temporarily giving us cause to worry that England might get the Group of Death, the selection of Algeria and Slovenia somewhat quashed those fears.

Though none are poor sides, England will be favourites against all three Group C opponents. But the important thing at a World Cup draw is not just who’s in your group, but who’s in the group next door. Germany are by no means guaranteed to win a tough Group D ahead of Australia, Serbia and Ghana and the spectre of a potential second round Anglo-German clash looms large. So it did four years ago, but Germany won Group A and England, despite their second half struggles with Sweden’s aerial bombardment, topped their section.

But England’s biggest plus from the draw is not their eminently winnable group but the fact that Brazil and Spain, the only two teams in international football who are indisputably better than them, are nicely hidden away in the other half of the draw, as are Holland and the world champions Italy. A possible quarter final against Argentina or France is definitely winnable, given the poor management of both of those sides by their eccentric coaches.

Predictably, every American or Algerian in the Premier League (there are no Slovenes, though Robert Koren plays for West Bromwich Albion in the Football League Championship) will now have his every move keenly followed by the English media. We started with Tim Howard, the US goalkeeper, ominously saving Jermain Defoe’s penalty kick in injury time of the Everton-Tottenham Hotspur extravaganza yesterday. Fortunately, no penalty shoot-out will be required in the group fixtures.

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Other interesting factoids emerged from the draw. North Korea will face Portugal again in a repeat of the extraordinary quarter final in 1966 at Goodison Park, though it is unlikely to end 5-3 this time around.

Hosts South Africa appear to have a difficult group. France, one of the stronger unseeded teams (in theory), went into Group A, giving the draw a decent balance but hampering the home side’s chances of progressing to the knock-out stage. There is one good omen, though, for Bafana Bafana: England also drew Uruguay, Mexico and France in the group stage when they were hosts in 1966, and we all know how that competition ended.

The Group of Death in Group G, pitting Brazil against the Ivory Coast and their former colonial masters, Portugal. It is desperate luck for the west African side, whose first matches in 2006 were against Argentina and Holland. However, lest we worry that Portugal v Brazil, being the last match in the group, should become a formality with both nations having already beaten the Ivorians and North Koreans, it’s worth remembering that Spain are next door. Brazil are the strong favourites in the group but could be only a spectacular Cristiano Ronaldo free-kick from a second round gladiatorial clash with Spain in Cape Town.

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Argentina’s draw – Nigeria, South Korea and Greece – will certainly resonate with their coach Diego Maradona. The Koreans were Argentina’s first opponents in 1986, the tournament which Maradona dominated, carrying an otherwise unspectacular side to glory. Argentina won 3-1 in Mexico City’s Olímpico, though the best moment of the match was a fine long-range goal from Park Chang-Seon, the South Korea striker.

Matches with Nigeria and Greece will also bring back memories for Maradona, though less pleasant. At USA ‘94, the tournament he left prematurely after failing a doping test, Argentina were drawn in Group D with those two teams and Bulgaria. In their first match, Maradona scored what would be his final World Cup goal in a 4-0 thrashing of a Greece side who, then as now, were atrocious and unadventurous. His goal celebration gave something of a clue as to his state of mind at the time.

The next match in Foxboro, against Nigeria, was Maradona’s last for Argentina before his pharmaceutical activities were discovered.

His final international opponents as a player will be his first World Cup finals engagement as a coach when the sides meet at Ellis Park on 12 June.

Getting the best out of Lionel Messi will be key to Argentina’s chances. Nigeria and South Korea will both provide stiff tests of their mettle, as well as their quality. Argentina are a team who can be out-fought and Nigeria’s physicality, as well as the Koreans’ stamina, could push Argentina all the way.

Should Argentina get through Group B, as they really ought to, their second round match could potentially be one of the clashes of the competition. They could face Uruguay, their neighbours and bitter rivals, or even France, who are by no means guaranteed an easy passage against either the South Americans or Mexico in their section. England will not complain if the two giants exhaust each other in a second round clash in Port Elizabeth or Soccer City.

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If this World Cup will have a theme, it could be the struggles of the unseeded European nations. The tournament’s most active continent has provided an esoteric roll call of nations, with established mid-ranking sides such as Croatia, the Czech Republic, Sweden, Russia, Turkey and Ukraine all absent. So too, countries with decent World Cup pedigree currently on the wane, such as Belgium, Poland, Hungary and Bulgaria.

Of those who made it perhaps against the odds, Denmark could suffer in Group E, against the highly-regarded Dutch and Cameroon, for whom Samuel Eto’o should star. Cameroon, it should be pointed out, have improved their defensive strength by pursuading Tottenham defenders Benoît Assou-Ekotto and Sébastien Bassong to defect from France. They are the highest placed African nation in the FIFA world rankings and, given their easier draw, are expected to progress further than the Ivory Coast.

Slovakia will do well to finish ahead of Paraguay, though their first World Cup outing as an independent nation against New Zealand should bring three points. Slovenia are no pushovers but are not expected to finish in the top two; winning their first match against Algeria would seem imperative. Switzerland will struggle against the attacking quality of Spain and Chile and must also combat a strong Honduras side containing some fine Premier League players.

Greece continue to work miracles in qualifying but are unlikely to overcome South Korea, who should run rings around them, never mind Nigeria or Argentina. Serbia look a decent bet for a knock-out place but Ghana and Australia will challenge them hard in Group D.

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ALGERIA NEWS: A sizable travelling support is expected from the north African nation, with fans set to have plane seats set aside for the trip to South Africa. They should have at least 10,000 in the Cape Town stadium for what promises to be a boisterous fixture against England. The side will get some competitive preparation in January, when they face Malawi, Mali and hosts Angola in January’s African Cup of Nations.