Jose Mourinho’s outlandish antics were lapped-up by the desperate English media, anxious for a circus after a decade of the learned words of Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger, but their Italian counterparts have warmed far less to the Portuguese’s arrogant assertiveness.

The pair have been in constant battle ever since Mourinho walked into his first press conference as Inter Milan coach and spoke flawless Italian. While it was certainly an impressive show, it also demonstrated that the former Chelsea and Porto boss was immediately ready for battle. Whether that was with opposition coaches or the press was up to the self-proclaimed ’special one’, but Mourinho had already made a mark on Serie A.

His flamboyant attitude often worked in his favour when Chelsea were being criticised from all angles - poor discipline, boring football, bad results. It would help him avoid a press mauling and kept his stock high when the markets were still an attractive proposition.

But like the financial markets across the globe, Mourinho’s share price has fallen greatly within just a couple of months as investors lose confidence in his capabilities.

His coaching ability surely cannot be questioned but Inter’s style and, more crucially, results have not been entirely satisfying. Fans of the Nerazzurri are well used to a lack of panache after years under the conservative Roberto Mancini but silverware was never lacking. The Italian secured the scudetto three years running but failed on the continent. Thus Mourinho was charged with the task of winning the Champions League, a competition in which he has enjoyed doses of both success and failure.

His objective seems singular and clear, but Mourinho must be wary of putting all his eggs in one basket. Failure on the peninsula would mean glory at home becoming a necessity, ensuring Inter’s latest head coach must keep his side competitive both domestically and on the road.

So far, it has been a shaky beginning. Unconvincing, narrow victories over small fry Bologna, Lecce and Catania have been mixed with a draw at Sampdoria and a significant defeat in the Milan derby against their fierce rivals. Inter’s Champions League campaign has also go off to a tepid start, a home draw with Werder Bremen on matchday two resulting in the most intense criticism of Mourinho thus far.

Mourinho if a long way from crisis point or a Landsbanki-style liquidation, though. Inter will almost certainly progress from their Champions League group and will be looking to hit top form in the new year rather than peak at this premature stage. They sit equal first in Serie A and face little real opposition with last year’s rivals Roma flailing dramatically, AC Milan still far too inconsistent and Juventus offering little to suggest they are ready to challenge for the scudetto yet.

But his wars with other clubs - ranging from a very public row with Juventus coach Claudio Ranieri, his predecessor at Chelsea to incurring actual physical threats from Catania chief executive Pietro Lo Monaco (”Mourinho is simply someone who should be smacked in the mouth”) - and a deteriorating relationship with the media, who reacted furiously when he failed to turn up at a press conference, are not helping his cause.

Chelsea fans, however, well know Mourinho does things either his way, or no way. It is something that the Italians must get used to because the 2004 Champions League winner plans to hang around for a while.

Of course, he is not the sole decider of his future. Results will do that for him and with tough matches away at Roma and Fiorentina coming up in October, Mourinho’s mettle will be genuinely tested for the first time since he arrived after a brief sabbatical from the game. Rival teams and the omnipresent press are essentially side issues in Inter’s big season. Should Mourinho succeed as he did so magnificently with Chelsea, his ills will be forgotten in a rush and he will soon be heralded by the never easy to please Italian media as a messiah, along with the Inter supporters starved of major European glory for more than four decades.

Having already made his inimitable impression off the pitch, it’s now time for Mourinho to do his talking within the San Siro walls and deliver the missing piece of European silverware to Inter’s trophy cabinet.

Alberto Gilardino is the laughing stock of Europe - a hapless forward who is more likely strike his own mother than a ball into the net and someone who rose to fame at AC Milan not for his talent or goal tally but for being completely out of his depth.

Whether it was the Champions League or Serie A, Gilardino seemingly didn’t have the confidence or ability to score on a regular basis and continued to stutter in front of goal while incurring the wrath of his own supporters. Ultimately, he was used less and less and when he did play, the expectation on him to score had been completely lifted. Instead, assisting in a goal or supporting the midfield would suffice.

Until now, that is.

Gilardino may soon be able to use the past tense to describe his episode at Milan after an unexpectedly auspicious start to his career in the distinct colours of La Viola. After five goals in six matches, the former Parma hitman can safely assume he is no longer the laughing stock on the peninsula.

Whether it is the less hostile and expectant environment or the reunification with his coach at Parma, Cesare Prandelli, Gilardino has gone from a first class misfit to Italy’s saviour.

As the national side struggle to adequately fill their striking positions, Gilardino’s recent performances suggest that he may finally be ready to bear the responsibility of leading the line for the world champions. He scored in the recent friendly draw with Austria and is certainly in Marcello Lippi’s thoughts.

Four of his goals this campaign have come from headers when last season under Carlo Ancelotti at Milan he appeared fearful of meeting any sort of aerial cross. Over the last week, he has scored a stylish double at Lyons as Fiorentina kicked off their Champions League group with a draw and then secured the club’s first league win with the only goal against Bologna.

Less pressure and more belief and attention from coach Prandelli has aided Gilardino’s cause immeasurably. Over two years at Parma, the 26-year-old netted 51 times in 87 matches but after transferring to Milan, he became increasingly disenchanted and his form suffered greatly. After averaging nearly one goal every two games during his first season, Gilardino scored just 19 league goals in 60 matches in the following two while only managing four in 19 European ties.

The turnaround in fortunes has been immense.

‘Gila’ has already scored more times in Europe this season than he ever managed during any of his three years at San Siro and those who snickered at the 15 million euros summer price tag are not so forthright now.

About to enter his prime years Gilardino, with continuing care and attention, might at last live up to his Parma potential and could soon be firing both club and country to silverware.

Chelsea ought to encounter few problems as they aim to go one better than last season’s silver medal under the tutelage of Luiz Felipe Scolari. While AS Roma and Bordeaux offer quality opposition, Chelsea are superior opponents - as their Champions League record dictates.

Scolari’s Chelsea are second seeds despite never having lifted the famous cup with big ears yet the club’s record under Jose Mourinho elevated them up the list, while Avram Grant brought the west Londoners closest to realising Roman Abramovich’s dream last season. Scolari already has Chelsea playing a superior brand of football this season; the arrival of Deco certainly assisting in this aspect. Michael Essien’s injury is a blow, yet he should return for the knockout phases and Chelsea’s squad is one of the strongest, with the likes of Frank Lampard, Michael Ballack, Joe Cole and Mikel John Obi in midfield and Nicolas Anelka and Didier Drogba up front. This campaign, Chelsea look stronger and better equipped in their ongoing quest for European success - and the smart money is on them to triumph in Rome next year.

First, however, they must win in Rome this year. AS Roma are the most serious threats to Chelsea, having reached the quarter-finals the last two years running and booming under their exceptional coach, Luciano Spalletti. Francesco Totti continues to lead Roma as captain and playmaker, Julio Baptista has joined the club from Real Madrid to add strength to their forward line while the likes of Daniele De Rossi, the no-nonsense midfielder who has proved as valuable as Totti, and the supremely talented Alberto Aquilani ensure Spalletti’s side will be a tough proposition. The exit of Amantino Mancini to Inter Milan, though, might prove crucial for Roma’s illustrious ambitions.

Bordeaux are back in the Champions League, hoping to make a far better impression under Laurent Blanc than they managed two years ago with Ricardo as coach. In 2006/7, Boardeaux finished third in the group stage but scarcely impressed. Under Blanc, however, the club have been revitalised and challenged Lyons to the death in last season’s Ligue 1 title race. The former Manchester United defender has plenty of work to do if Bordeaux are to upset the form guide but they should at least replicate their performance of two years ago, though they will look to the fixtures against Roma as practical play-offs for qualification for the knockout phase. Their main threat comes in the form of explosive Argentine striker Fernando Cavenaghi while the likes of Wendel and loan capture Yoann Gourcuff mean Bordeaux are not just here for the ride.

Hands up if you’ve heard of CFR Cluj. Romanian champions and their first time in the Champions League, Cluj are considered vast outsiders. They already have a new coach this season - Italian Maurizio Trombetta - and although are a hard-working outfit that boast an array of South American talent, Cluj will be looking at attaining a few points rather than eying a top two finish. An inaugural victory in the competition would go down like winning the final for the first non-Bucharest side to win Liga I in 17 years. Few Romanians actually play for Cluj and they instead offer a herd of unknown, washed-up journeyman as their Champions Leagye squad. They have dished out £2m for Uruguayan winger Alvaro Pereira while Brazilian Didi is one of the more highly-rated team members. Enjoy the outing, lads.

Prediction - Chelsea and Roma to take first and second, with Bordeaux a close third.

Never should much weight be given to pre-season friendlies, and Fulham’s 2-2 draw with Torino indicated why after an unlikely comeback by the Serie A outfit in the final 10 minutes after the hosts had thoroughly dominated in the opening half.

Fulham have only lost one pre-season match but won just three with draws dominating the calendar. After managing 12 last campaign as relegation was avoided only via a miracle, Roy Hodgson will not be keen on replicating the form of friendlies in the league, but it nevertheless has been an encouraging period, much more so than under Lawrie Sanchez’s management a year ago.

Against Torino, Fulham again exhibited the style of football Hodgson has instilled in the squad since his arrival at the beginning of the year. Slick passing and swift movement proved too much for Gianni De Biasi’s side with all the goal action coming at Matteo Sereni’s end, the stopper conceding twice in the drizzle before the break.

Bobby Zamora netted the opener following good build-up play by the ever-inconsistent Seol, his driven effort eventually going in after Sereni got hands to the shot, before fellow summer signing Zoltan Gera doubled Fulham’s advantage with a far more convincing arrowed shot into the roof of the net. Again, Seol was the provider, and after nearing the exit door both in January and earlier this summer, Hodgson looks set to keep him and if the Korean can manage some more constancy in his performances, he has the ability to terrorise opposition defences in the coming months.

The Toro tifosi were making all the noise inside Craven Cottage, undeterred by the two-goal deficit but understandably baffled by their side’s poor performance.

The More Things Change…

Thinking the game was done and dusted, Fulham failed to attack with any concision in the second half, instead gradually allowing Torino to come more into the game. They were made to pay as Abbruscato and Ogbonna netted in the closing ten minutes to stun the home support and send the 400 or so visiting fans into unanticipated ecstasy.

For the thousands dressed in white, the familiar sensation of déjà vu was aroused. Last season, Fulham were the league experts in losing points from a winning position and conceding goals in the final ten minutes. Once again, in the final friendly before their opening game at Hull, they lost concentration and when Abbruscato pulled one back, an equaliser seemed inevitable as nerves dominated the closing stages.

Sure enough, via a deflection, a leveller was found and the visiting supporters found their voice once again. After a mid-table finish last season, it seems not much more can be expected of De Biasi’s men after an underwhelming performance although the Serie A campaign doesn’t begin until the end of August.

Yet while Torino have a few more weeks to get into shape, Hodgson has to ready his troops for next Saturday and a demanding trip to Premier League new-comers Hull. The hosts will view Fulham as a team they need to beat if they are to survive and with a capacity crowd behind them, life will undoubtedly be tricky for the Londoners at the KC Stadium.

Fulham’s other critical problem from last season came on the road, where they didn’t succeed in winning away from home until mid-April. The Torino game brought to the fore one of their central problem areas in conceding late goals, but whether Fulham have improved away from the Cottage is as of yet unknown.

The answer to this conundrum is likely to help decide whether Hodgson and Fulham avoid the pain and anguish which accompanied the closing months of the 2007/8 season.

So, while Milan [featured previously] have been making characteristically slow, steady strides towards re-generation, what have the rest of the Serie A contenders been up to in the summer break thus far?

Champions Inter have, as always, invested heavily in their perennial dream of adding continental domination to their monopolisation of recent Scudetti. Brazilian winger Mancini – snatched from rivals Roma – aside though, that investment has been predominantly in acquiring self-appointed saviour José Mourinho. And the ex-Chelsea and Porto manager’s wage will be commensurate with his ego.

The princely sum of £7m a year (twice as much as pocketed by Milan’s Carlo Ancelotti) should be enough to keep the ‘Special One’ in the finest Milanese coat designs for several years to come.

The freshly-installed boss was quick to inform playmaker Dejan Stanković that he was considered past his prime. Plans to replace the Serb with Deco came to nothing, so Portsmouth’s Sulley Muntari has been brought back to Serie A after a brief Premier League sojourn. It’s a deal which has raised many a Milanese eyebrow.

Mourinho has been daily linked with a move for fleet-footed countryman Ricardo Quaresma – largely overlooked by Luiz Felipe Scolari during the Euros – but Mancini’s arrival put paid to that prospect. And, of course, the tedious Frank Lampard saga seems to have finally dribbled to a halt – until January at least.

Last week, Mourinho declared himself “sincerely worried” about his new club’s defensive situation – with key personnel; Cristian Chivu, Iván Córdoba, Walter Samuel and Marco Materazzi all hogging the treatment table during pre-season. Rumours persist that Inter will dip into the market once more before the window finally slams shut to remedy the situation – ex-Everton man Matteo Ferrari, currently a free agent, has been strongly linked.

Even the most casual football fan could tell you that Mourinho has based his past successes rather more on pragmatism and meticulous preparation than any Wenger-esque aesthetic ideals. Yet, any top side needs that special someone to “make” the play. If given the opportunity, Luis Jiménez could continue to impress in the creative midfield role, as he often did last season. The effervescent Muntari also has much to offer in that regard, while Mancini can inject some sorely needed width into the nerazurri line-up.

Whatever the make-up of his first-choice XI though, Mourinho shoulders great responsibility for converting consistent domestic success into the holy grail of Champions League glory.

Juventus, the once dominant, proud Old Lady of Italian football, have had to assume a rather more humble outlook than their Milanese rivals over the past two years, due to the fallout of Calciopoli. But their qualification for a return to European football’s premier competition, following a third place Serie A finish, injected fresh optimism into the Turin faithful.

However, most fans have been scathing about Claudio Ranieri’s subdued summer transfer campaign to date.

Xabi Alonso’s long-touted arrival has not been forthcoming, so when Sevilla workhorse Christian Poulsen was instead signed up to form an unlikely midfield alliance with Momo Sissoko, Juve’s tifosi were more than a little disgruntled. Perspiration will obviously take precedence over inspiration in such an inelegant partnership. Fortunately, the return of loan star Sebastian Giovinco (selected as player of the recent Toulon tournament) should add a much needed dash of élan to the bianconeri’s toil.

Beanpole Brazilian Amauri also provides a new focus up front at Turin’s Stadio Olimpico, while Olof Mellberg’s free-transfer signing from Aston Villa will do much to shore up a defence in need of, well, re-juve-nation.

Nonetheless, it is plainly apparent that the Juventus squad still lacks in creativity and even a little quality. A potential move for Inter’s unwanted Stanković is unlikely to convince punters to put their hard-earned Euros on a sustained Juve title challenge, let alone significant European progress.

Over in the capital, last season’s unlucky runners-up have already lost Mancini to their main rivals, and Roma have yet to land a replacement. Recent rumours linking Julio ‘the Beast’ Baptista to the giallorossi at least signals an ambition to beef up an attack which has relied too heavily upon the perpetual ingenuity and adaptability of their eternal idol, Francesco Totti.

Significantly, the Romans have been able to resist growing interest in midfield starlet Alberto Aquilani, but with only John Arne Riise featuring in the ‘In’ column, Luciano Spalletti’s recruitment team are under pressure to get busy, quick.

It’s been a mixed summer for Fiorentina. Tomáš Ujfaluši, Fabio Liverani and (mercifully) Christian Vieri have been culled from the side which pipped Milan for Champions League qualification, while incoming Milan flop Alberto Gilardino represents something of a gamble at €13m. Catania’s raiding full-back Juan Manuel Vargas arrives for a similar fee and should prove a fine addition. It’s clear, however, that holding onto Adrian Mutu (who features strongly on Roma’s wishlist) and talented ‘keeper Seb Frey remains top priority for the Tuscan club.

Other eye-catching moves around the peninsula this summer include Lazio’s potentially expensive procurement of Mauro Zárate (initially on loan from Al Sadd). Zárate was given precious little opportunity to impress in English football by his typically sceptical boss at Birmingham City, Alex McLeish. He’ll be looking for coach Delio Rossi to show greater faith in his undoubted talents during this campaign. The shrewd purchase of Matuzalem – a returnee to Serie A after a prolonged exile in the Ukraine with Shakhtar Donetsk and La Liga’s Zaragoza – could also prove a masterstroke by a club searching desperately for a return to the Italian elite.

Atalanta star Antonio Langella’s switch to Udinese gives the well-travelled winger a late stab at the (relatively) big time, at the age of 31. Talented Azurrini playmaker Luca Cigarini’s €6m arrival in Bergamo will do much to soften the blow of Langella’s departure for Atalanta supporters.

The arrival of Fabio Liverani, Azzurri reserve ‘keeper Marco Amelia and return of Croat forward Igor Budan from relegated Parma should strengthen Palermo’s challenge for a place in the top six. While over in Genoa, Antonio Cassano’s permanent move to Sampdoria can only aid the continued resurrection of an ailing career which started out with such promise.

Amongst the likely relegation scrappers, Walter Zenga’s canny acquirement of Nicolae Dică from former club Steaua Bucharest should boost little Catania’s chances of prolonged Serie A survival. The tricky Romanian schemer could prove a snip for the Sicilians at around €2m.

With a month still remaining of Serie A transfer window madness, much horse-trading, bluffing and rumour-mongering will continue to plaster the pages of such dependable journals of truth as La Gazzetta and Tuttosport for some while yet.

When kick-off finally does arrive though, European football’s most unfairly maligned league will collectively be going all-out to break the Anglo-Spanish duopoly of the posh seats at Europe’s top table.

And it’s looking likely that seasoned Serie A-watchers can prepare themselves for another close-fought, absorbing title race. Can’t wait.

Of course, it wasn’t really Ronnie’s decision to depart Catalonia quite so soon – incoming Barca coach Pep Guardiola made it brutally clear that he and his fellow party-loving team-mate Deco were no longer welcome at Camp Nou. With Manchester City proving the only ‘serious’ competition for the signature of the apparently superfluous former Ballon D’Or winner, there was only ever going to be one victor.

That the mighty AC Milan should even find themselves fighting it out toe-to-toe with nouveau riche upstarts City for playing recruits could perhaps be perceived as a sign of Serie A’s diminished prestige since those heady glory days of the 80s and 90s. But, of course, Ronaldinho isn’t your average cast-off.

At the age of just 28 – and, according to vice-president Adriano Galliani, having “lost his belly” – he could conceivably yet rekindle that irresistible fire which once made him everyone’s favourite buck-toothed ball manipulator. Certainly, Milan will be resting their hopes on a Samba-rich Kaká-Ronnie-Pato attacking axis coming good this season. And it does have a rather tantalising appeal – on paper, at least.

In light of Guardiola’s ruthless approach to re-shaping the humbled blaugrana this summer, there has been some pressure on coach Carlo Ancelotti to adopt a similar ‘rip it up and start again’ policy over at San Siro. That, however, is simply not the manner in which Milan operate.

No, at least prior to the unveiling of ‘Dinho, there had instead been a quiet revolution at the club’s Milanello HQ this summer.

Though no spring chicken at 31, and another Barca redundant, Gianluca Zambrotta will bring a much-needed injection of dynamism and attacking width to what has become an increasingly stodgy side. The early acquisition of Arsenal’s Mathieu Flamini should also prove to be an excellent piece of business. The Frenchman’s tireless running and accurate passing promises to gel well with likely engine-room cohort Andrea Pirlo – who will clearly take the creative role in the partnership.

Quite where the new arrivals will leave club stalwart Rino Gattuso and Clarence Seedorf – who remains, for now, in possession of the cherished no. 10 shirt for now at least – remains to be seen.

At the sharp end of things, the ‘loss’ of inept strikers Alberto Gilardino and Ricardo Oliviera should be more than compensated for by the return from successful loan of Milan’s long-neglected centre-forward Marco Borriello. It’s surely a big ask for the Neapolitan to reproduce the rich vein of goal-scoring form which reaped 19 goals last term, but he has within him the ability to make a significant contribution when called upon.

Fellow loan-returnee Christian Abbiati may also receive an unlikely shot at redemption, as Milan have so far failed to replace calamity-prone ‘keepers Zeljko Kalac and Dida; with Galliani declaring the club’s transfer activity now closed. And that is just where Milan’s problems might lie.

The back five remains an ageing, increasingly vulnerable unit; certainly incapable of keeping up with the rigorous demands of Champions League football. Perhaps it’s just as well they won’t have to, as they’ll instead face up to the perceived ignominy of participation in the little-loved UEFA Cup.

Still much-loved, but sadly in inevitable decline; Paolo Maldini looks set to carry on into his 41^st year. The plan was to retire the legendary no. 3 shirt upon his retirement, but if he continues to prolong his career much longer, the world’s finest full-back of the past two decades will be able to pass the shirt directly on to his son Christian – a highly-rated youth team prospect at Milan.

Alessandro Nesta, another defender of immense talent and composure, is becoming all too frequent a visitor to the treatment table. Rumours persist that he’ll need to go under the surgeon’s knife sooner rather than later to clear up his injury problems once and for all, but when available Nesta remains the rock upon which the side’s (occasionally shaky) foundations are built.

Serie A is, broadly speaking, contested at a speed considerably slower than the Premier League’s default ‘breakneck’ setting. The rossoneri, therefore, clearly expect the value of experience over raw pace to still hold firm at domestic level.

The Milan hierarchy, despite public niceties to the contrary, have no interest whatsoever in having a concerted crack at the UEFA Cup, so will be able to concentrate the efforts of their still ageing team on a full-blown title challenge. The absolute bare minimum required will be re-admission to the Champions League for 2009/10.

Allowing for his participation in Brazil’s pursuit of an elusive gold medal at the upcoming Olympic Games was a significant sweetener which eased through the deal bringing Ronaldinho to San Siro. Young hope Alexandre Pato will also be otherwise occupied in Beijing until just before Serie A’s big kick-off (assuming Brazil do make it to the latter stages).

Nonetheless, this state of affairs could conceivably work in Milan’s favour. Should the two return triumphant from the Games – not a great stretch of the imagination – they’ll be up and flying; ready to put promoted Bologna to the sword on day one of what promises to be an intriguing campaign for Ancelotti’s boys from Brazil.

Now all they have to do is keep their original Seleção star, Kaká, out of the greedy clutches of a certain West London-based player vacuum…

Emmanuel Adebayor is heading to AC Milan or Barcelona

Matthew Day says Arsenal would be mad not to accept £15m for Emmanuel Adebayor as AC Milan and Barcelona eye up the Togolese forward.

Arsenal were playing the fool of the show when demanding £35m for Emmanuel Adebayor as AC Milan came sniffing.

Having halved their demands, however, Arsène Wenger may yet rid of the Togo forward for as much as £15m - a sum that should immediately be accepted by Arsenal.

Adebayor has frequently frustrated Arsenal fans with his poor finishing and equally pitiful attitude, though he showed numerous glimpses of brilliance last season, suggesting he could yet become the next Shevchenko. Milan are hoping for as much.

At 24, Adebayor still has age on his side but Wenger clearly believes that he has not progressed at a satisfactory rate. Cesc Fàbregas and Samir Nasri are two shining examples of talent that blossomed at an early age; meanwhile, Adebayor has stagnated as Arsenal search for a predator in front of goal to replace Henry.

With Barcelona also registering their interest, Arsenal might be looking at a tidy figure for a striker who has never managed to prove himself in the Premier League.

Arsenal could go for Roque Santa Cruz as a replacement - with the Paraguayan reportedly ready to leave Blackburn following manager Mark Hughes’s defection to Manchester City. Originally a target for Manchester United, Santa Cruz now looks London-bound after Sir Alex Ferguson reignited his interest in Tottenham hitman Dimitar Berbatov.

A summer of striker switching is set to commence.

He is to football what George Bush Jr. is to politics. And ,like Bush, you wonder how on earth he has retained his job for so long. For this alone, Blatter must surely be applauded. He’s managed to stay at football’s top table, unchallenged, for years. Amazing. Whatever happens to dear Sepp, he can surely guarantee continued prosperity by penning a book entitled ‘Keeping A Top Job When You Haven’t Got a Scooby’ or just ‘Sepp Blagger – The Farcical Years’ .

If his latest comments are genuinely designed to protect players then why didn’t he pipe up when Owen Hargreaves wanted to leave Bayern a couple of years back? Why didn’t he come out in defence of Gareth Barry when he recently signalled his desire to move to Anfield? There are so many examples of players wanting to leave their clubs but Sepp has spoken up now. Why? Possibly because he dislikes English football? Possibly, he craves the limelight that the use of the words ‘Cristiano Ronaldo’ will bring? Who can really say with any confidence what goes on inside his head?

If he didn’t already sound ridiculous by getting involved in the Ronaldo affair he further disgraced himself by likening football players to slaves! What sort of slavery is this then? And where can I sign up? It must be hell doing an hour of hard labour on the training pitch 5 days a week. As if that wasn’t enough you are asked, no ordered, to play up to two games a week! Then there are the multitude of willing women that gravitate towards you because of the slavery. The cars, the sponsorship deals. I shudder to think about the daily horrors of a footballer’s life. I could go on, but Blatter’s words are so ridiculous, not to mention tasteless, that they don’t need my sarcasm to highlight the point (not just yet anyway). How we’d laugh if a tabloid could set Sepp up in some kind of Max Mosley style situation. How much pleasure would that bring to the football world? Shall we do a poll?

Would you like to see Sepp caught up in a sex scandal with some mature women dressed in ‘tight’ football kits and ornamental slave chains.

If anything could make us feel better about the credit crunch that would surely be it.
Blatter is the epitome of a man whose power has gone to his head. No longer bound by concerns over making a mockery of his organisation, he just spouts whatever passing nonsense comes into his head at any given time. The other employees at UEFA and FIFA must spend the majority of their time undertaking damage limitation exercises. ‘Oh no, what’s the old, mad codger said now’, must surely be a regular comment amongst his peers. If he hadn’t been quoted apparently making exactly the opposite point about player-power a few years ago, his sentiments might carry a little more weight. Not much, but a little. And if he hadn’t alienated half of the world population by commenting that female footballers should wear tighter kits to better show off their bodies, we might say that this is just a blip, a moment of madness.

But you join up the dots and realise that Blatter is a bit of a nut job. So let’s start a discussion about getting someone more responsible into the hotseat of world football - the game that we, the public, spend so much money to enjoy. Why should we have to put up with this nonsense? The issue isn’t slavery, it’s insanity. Meantime, let’s imagine what these afflicted players must go through day to day.

The Diary of a modern slave/footballer

Monday – They made me get up at 0830 to be at the ‘training ground’ at 1000. That’s what they call it here. A ‘training ground’. We work right through until midday, then we’re told to leave, without so much as a thank you. The downright cheek of these people is what most riles me and my slave brothers.

Tuesday – You guessed it. We have to do the same all over again. I feel so tired after the session that driving my Ferrari home holds no pleasure whatsoever. I go for a pedicure but that really hurts too. It’s beyond degrading. I feel ashamed to show my face in Starbucks. There is no joy. No laughter. No peace.

Wednesday – We are told we don’t have to ‘train’ today (that’s what they call it – ‘training’). Of course, it’s not a day off, as such, because we have to play a game in the evening, which involves covering every blade of grass on a huge pitch for 90 minutes whilst 70,000 people scream your name like you’re a piece of meat. I’m not sure how much more I can take. I don’t write this because I want your pity, I’m doing it because people need to know what it’s truly like. The world must never be allowed to forget what is happening here.

Thursday – I’m effectively running on empty but this means nothing to the bosses, and we are expected to ‘train’ all over again for two hours, with only a few minutes every now and then to recover from the perennial torture. There really is no respite. Of course, I take it all out on my supermodel girlfriend when I get home. I try to explain that my fatigue and bad mood is due to the way I’m treated, but she isn’t interested and leaves me. I’m left with no alternative but to call a top quality escort agency and order a new woman. Evil seemingly knows no bounds.

Friday – Exhausted from my travails in the bedroom, I am ordered to ‘train’ once more. My hamstrings are like jelly and my feet are killing me. They don’t even allow us to drink water. Instead we are forced to consume expensive ‘energy drinks’. That’s what they call them – ‘energy drinks’. God only knows what’s in them. There surely must be some law against this. It’s 2008 for the love of sweet Jesus! I go for lunch at the best place in town but my scallop starter and fillet steak do very little to interrupt the overriding feeling that I’m just a badly oiled cog in a brutal machine. The steak isn’t even cooked properly. Don’t these idiots know the meaning of the word ‘rare’? There’s blood on the hands of the industry but none on my plate. It’s like everyone is in on the joke. But I’m not laughing, I can assure you.

Saturday – Five day week? You’re having a laugh aren’t you? Saturday just brings more pain, more baying crowds. More, more, more. In the entire week they have paid me just £100k after tax. Where is the humanity in the world? Where is the compassion? Why am I being persecuted? Why me? If there is one person that can bring an end to this horrendous plight, it’s that extremely coherent bloke, Sepp Blatter. But, far from being heralded as the hero that he is, people are laughing at him, making a mockery of his intelligent and brave words. Has the whole world gone mad? Please help me Sepp.

Sunday – You won’t believe this but we were actually told to rest today. Many weeks they will make us ‘play’ on The Sabbath but this week they have relented. I decide to cheer myself up by spending a huge chunk of my risible wage on the basics – namely £50k on diamonds. They can take my life, but they will never take my earrings!! That’s a clever reference to Braveheart. You see? They haven’t broken my spirit just yet. The animals.
If anyone is reading this, if it makes the slightest bit of difference and brings this torture to an end one day sooner then it will have been worth it. At least then my suffering will not have been in vain. Oh god I’m tired. I’m going to have to pop to Waitrose and get loads of Deli. I’ll probably be too tired to eat it. The horror. The horror. The Horror.

Daniele De Rossi was in terrific form for Roma last season

Formation
This being the season for goals, 4-3-3 seems the ideal one for Serie A’s Team of the Year.

Goalkeeper

Realistically, there were only three choices; Gigi Buffon, Julio Cesar and Seb Frey. Of the three, Frey has been the best consistently, largely because Fiorentina’s game plan almost invites others to attack them. Frey doesn’t have the same defence in front of him as Cesar or Buffon so his job is much harder. But it is key saves that win you matches, and titles. Despite not winning anything, Juve had a renaissance season, whereas Inter won a third successive Scudetto, and for that reason, Cesar is the top keeper. He has kept Inter in matches they were struggling to win, and won them matches with point blank saves against the top teams.

Defence

Inter’s captain Javier Zanetti must surely take up the right-back berth as the attacking full back/midfielder combines attack and defence so well. Zanetti has performed in an odd season for Inter, and after 12 years at the club is still regarded as one of the best. On the left, Juventus’ Giorgio Chiellini has shown his versatility at either centre-back or left-back, and has been described as the new Cannavaro with his last-ditch tackles.

Selecting the centre-backs is a tough job, considering that the art of defending has been almost non-existent this season.

Roma’s Phillipe Mexes has grown in stature this season, and no longer is he viewed as a weak link. His technical skill and ability to play with the ball from out of defence gives him the first centre-back position. If we have one technically gifted centre-back, the other must surely be the rugged, last ditch defender who is willing to break every bone in his body to prevent the ball from going in. With that being the case, only one player fits the bill - Paolo Cannavaro - the younger brother of Fabio. Although not as famous as his World Cup-winning brother, Paolo’s performances in defence have guided Napoli into the dizzy heights of the top end of the table, bringing back the memories of Napoli’s glory days under Maradona. The Intertoto Cup awaits.

Midfield

A three-man midfield in the modern game is defined most likely by a holding player in front of the defence, flanked with a attacking midfielder and a more centralised midfielder who is the midfield engine.

Over the past few seasons, half of the AC Milan midfield (Gattuso and Pirlo) would take up two of these positions yet Milan’s failure this season has been as much to do with their inadequacies in front of goal as it has been the poor midfield performances. In front of the defence, Roma’s Daniele De Rossi fits the bill perfectly. Despite his awful disciplinary record, De Rossi has grown this season and expect him to have a big role in Euro 2008. His midfield partner Simone Perrotta would fill the midfield engine role, but this season he has been used more as a central attacking midfielder off the forward than a central midfielder.

In contrast, Fiorentina’s Zdravko Kuzmanovic has been a fantastic presence in Fiorentina’s energetic midfield. Playing alongside Mario Santana and Mario Donadal has evolved the Serbian into an established member of Prandelli’s team, alerting interest from Premier League side Arsenal.

Alongside De Rossi and Kuzmanovic is Slovakia and Napoli wonderkid Marek Hamsik. The attacking midfielder, who idolises Juve’s Pavel Nedved, has played a key role in Napoli’s rise into eigth position in Serie A. Keeping him at the club will be a test for manager Reja, but Hamsik’s performances in midfield and attractiveness to clubs such as Inter, Juve, Barcelona, Chelsea and Lyon only confirm his excellent form and he deserves his place in this eleven.

Attack

The Italian Golden Boot (Capocannoniere) was an interesting battle between two of Italy’s strikers for Euro 2008. Marco Borriello, Genoa’s goal-scoring phenomenon showed what Milan missed when he scored 19 goals on-loan from the Rossoneri.

Interestingly, it was Alex Del Piero who won the boot with 21 goals, which earns him a spot in this team of the season. Del Boy has captained Juve well under Ranieri, earning himself a place in Roberto Donadoni’s Euro 2008 squad as well as helping Juve to a top three finish as planned. With Del Piero’s leadership and creativeness, it is only fair that poacher Borriello is placed alongside him. Both strikers may not start at the Euros but their instinct in front of goal is undoubted.

Even though Mutu, Ibrahimovic and Trezeguet all scored vitally important goals throughout the season, the third attacking birth goes to Udineses’ Antonio Di Natale. The marksman has scored 17 goals this season, but has also captained Udinese to a Uefa Cup spot as well establishing himself as a regular Italian international. Di Natale is quick, conjuring and brave, three vital ingredients for the modern day striker. Not only can he play upfront or on the wing, but he can drop into deeper midfield positions when needed, a versatility that is unique.

Manager

So Roberto Mancini is leaving Inter despite winning the Scudetto, while Spalletti came close but ended up with only the Coppa Italia. Two excellent managers who have guided their teams to success, but both were regarded as unsuccessful too. Mancini failed miserably in the Champions League and Spalletti could not mount a consistent Roma charge in the league despite the late turn of events.

But then trophies are not everything, and the Serie A manager of the year goes to two men - Eddy Reja of Napoli and Claudio Ranieri of Juventus.

Both secured finishing positions to be proud of under differing circumstances. Ranieri has rebuilt Juve, earned respect and given them a chance to fulfill dreams that were quashed after Calciopoli scandal. Meanwhile, Reja has brought Napoli in from the cold, from relegation and bankruptcy, to a top 10 finish and some sublime football.

CESAR ZANETTI MEXES CANNAVARO CHIELLINI DE ROSSI KUZMANOVIC HAMSIK DEL PIERO DI NATALE BORRIELLO

Serie A Team of the Year

1. Julio Cesar INTER
2. Javier Zanetti INTER
3. Giorgio Chiellini JUVENTUS
4. Paolo Canavarro NAPOLI
5. Phillipe Mexes AS ROMA
6. Daniele De Rossi AS ROMA
7. Zdravko Kuzmanovic FIORENTINA
8. Marek Hamsik NAPOLI
9. Marco Borriello GENOA & AC MILAN
10. Alex Del Piero JUVENTUS
11. Antonio Di Natale UDINESE

Managers: Claudio Ranieri and Edy Reja

Some notable players left out: Kaka; Pandev; Berhami; Cambiasso

Sometimes I hate the English media. They always tend to depict Italy’s Serie A as the most boring, most dire, most uneventful league in Europe, if not the world. But let me say this; this season the Serie A title race is as exciting as the English Premier League finale, if not spicier.

Probably about half of the footballing fans around the world watched in anticipation as Chelsea and Manchester United slugged out their title finale on Sunday. It was not as exciting as I anticipated, but all the same, it was fun to watch and ended a thoroughly good season.

Compared to Europe’s other leagues, Serie A has not had an exciting finale like this in a long time. Last season, Real Madrid won the La Liga title through their head-to-head matches with rivals Barcelona after finishing with the same number of points. In the Premier League this year, both Chelsea and Manchester United went to the wire with United being crowned Champions on Sunday. Both exciting endings to those respective seasons. But the third best league in Europe is surely now having the last laugh.

Commentators and pundits always describe the league as the most boring of all of those in Europe. Of course, many of these so-called pundits are free to their opinion, as it seemed almost unavoidable that league leaders Inter would run away with the title, especially since Roma’s charge faltered with weak draws to lower opposition.

Three weeks ago, Inter were six points ahead with three games remaining. With one game left, they are now a mere point ahead. The situation is clear; the Scudetto is NOT guaranteed to go back to the San Siro, and even if Luciano Spalletti has stated that Inter’s title is back in their hands, results in recent games suggest otherwise. Mind games? Not at all. Roma could still pip the Nerazzurri to the final hurdle and celebrate a thoroughly entertaining end to a fantastic Serie A season. Credit must go to Roma and Inter, for they have created a fascinating finale to a fabulous season.

The Scudetto

Roma lie one point behind Inter, with one game to go. It’s simple really. If Inter win, they lift the Scudetto; if Inter lose, and Roma win, then the title returns to the Capital after a seven-year absence. If Inter draw, then Roma must win, and anything but a Roma win will hand Inter the title. Sounds simple, but all is not what it seems.

The line between winning and losing is so thin

Unfortunately for Inter and Roma, the route to the Scudetto is not as easy as one may think. Both teams face tough opposition on Sunday in the form of Catania and Parma. Scheduled as easy fixtures in March, favourable reactions have now turned to groans, particularly as one of Parma or Catania will be joining the already relegated Livorno. The situation is spicier then an Indian dish.

Parma must beat Inter, and hope Catania lose to Roma to have a chance of staying up. Conversely, Catania must beat Roma and hope Inter beat Parma to ensure they stay up. Parma are the highest scorers in the bottom half of the table, whilst Catania join Empoli as the lowest scorers. That is a good sign for Roma, who will hope Parma can score against Inter whilst their opposition continue their drought in front of goal. A draw is not an option for any of the four teams: it’s win or nothing.

What happened to Milan after the derby win?

Milan played extremely well against Inter, and it has often troubled me how they have not captured this form over the whole season.

Surgical changes to an ageing squad are needed, but what’s more important is that the players and staff understand that the Milanesque school of 2003-2005 is not the same as the one currently present.

The derby win demonstrated a change in style, and with most things going through Kaka, Milan found it easier playing directly against Inter’s backline, a tactic that meant man-marking Kaka was not as efficient in previous matches. Winning the derby proved a small sign to a change in the Milan way under Ancelotti. As I had stated previously, the prospect of Milan beating Inter was very high, not least because the consequences of not being in next season’s Champions League would have confirmed the Rossonerri’s failure over the season.

But they say things happen in three, and with Fiorentina losing and Milan winning, it was certain that the weekend would end on a high for Kaka and co, ensured by Arsenal’s tireless midfielder Mathieu Flamini’s confirmed transfer to the club.

However, the tide has turned again. Milan lost 3-1 at Napoli and Fiorentina took advantage of this and now find themselves back in the driving seat. Fourth spot is out of Milan’s hands. They may end up looking on if Fiorentina end the season with a win. Will the lack of Champions League football deter Kaka away? Has Flamini made a mistake? Questionable times ahead.

The final day of the campaign will see a Champions League place decided, a relegation battle concluded and the most tightly contested Scudetto in years come to a thrilling climax. The excitement of Inter’s persistence, Roma’s footballing style, the emergence of Juventus, and the tightly drawn out battles between the minnows below have made this season’s Scudetto thoroughly enjoyable. Watching Milan struggle, Udinese impress, and Parma fall to new lows have encapsulated a fantastic year for Italian football.

Sadly for all teams involved, the interweaving between success and failure is so great that the final day will prove a fairytale ending for only a select few, while the others contemplate what could have been.

Arriverderci