Fulham’s battering ram centre-forward, who can’t stop scoring at the moment, played a central role in a star-studded evening packed full of goals and breathless action which brought the continent’s second-tier competition to life.

The Cottagers had already battled through an unfeasibly crowded schedule to reach the last 16. Therefore, last week’s 3-1 reverse in Turin perhaps came as little surprise to those expecting a compact squad to run out of steam in the final stages of a long, laborious season. Given the magnitude of their opposition – 14 years ago Juventus were well on their way to Champions League glory under Marcello Lippi, while pre-Al Fayed Fulham were set to finish 17^th in the old Third Division – few predicted the kind of miraculous turnaround that the nation’s new second-favourite team, at the end of ninety credibility-defying minutes, affected.

David Trezeguet’s characteristically opportunist early goal seemed to have wiped out any remaining semblance of hope for Roy Hodgson’s men. But observers of Fulham’s travels so far this season would have found familiar the fortitude in adversity they offered up to a boisterous ‘Craven Cauldron’ crowd. Zamora’s rapid and emphatic equaliser was followed in quick order by fast-fading Fabio Cannavaro’s unfortunate dismissal for a trip on the lively Zoltan Gera. Third-choice ‘keeper Antonio Chimenti, much-maligned for his lack of authority as Juventus frittered away a three-goal lead against Siena on Sunday, acrobatically tipped away Zamora’s curling effort from the resultant free-kick.

At this stage, over in Bremen where Werder were ‘defending’ an away-goal advantage following a 1-1 draw in Valencia, the visitors from the sharp-end of La Liga had waltzed into a two-goal lead. Early goals from David Villa and Juan Mata (each crafted by David Silva) should’ve been split by a reply from Claudio Pizarro, but the big Peruvian failed to capitalise on a glorious opportunity. His partner Hugo Almeida did manage to pull one back, only for Villa to snatch another to quieten the Weserstadion, with the home team then trailing 2-4 on aggregate. The result was a forgone conclusion, or so it seemed.

Back in west London; Simon Davies – recently returning from injury, to great effect – echoed Yoann Gourcuff’s unanticipated free-kicks for Bordeaux on Wednesday by whipping a shot from a wide angle against Chimenti’s crossbar. Moments later Dickson Etuhu, wresting himself free from the hands-on attentions of a brittle Juventus back-line, headed against the outside of the post, as the Old Lady began to stumble.

A wonderful team goal soon followed; set in motion by Zamora’s deft flick, served up by Davies’ goal-line cutback, and finished by the late-arriving Gera. The roof-raising response from a capacity crowd recalled Portsmouth’s raucous reception of Milan in 2008. This battle of English minnow and Italian colossus was to have a happier ending for the Premier League team however, as off-form Diego’s clear penalty-box handball early in the second half gave Gera the chance to slam in a penalty for his second and Fulham’s third. The tie was now – remarkably – dead-level.

Following such head-spinning mayhem, there was, inevitably a lull as both sides gathered their thoughts – with extra-time and penalties now a distinct possibility. There was no such opportunity to catch the breath over in northwest Germany as, by now, Torsten Frings’ penalty and a powerful drive from super-talented Marko Marin (effectively Diego’s replacement at Werder) had levelled the tie at 4-4.

The definitive moment in this game arrived on 65 minutes as David Villa completed his hat-trick by thumping in from Juan Mata’s cross-field ball; Werder’s defence again AWOL, leaving Tim Wiese cruelly exposed to the prowess of Europe’s most lethal marksman. Pizarro’s late goal made it five apiece, but the away goals rule accounted for last season’s beaten UEFA Cup finalists.

Into the final fifteen minutes at the Cottage, American agitator Clint Dempsey’s arrival from the sub’s bench had the desired effect as first he met Simon Davies’ excellent cross with a header which had Chimenti at full stretch. Fulham’s black-eyed boy, just back from a long-term knee injury, then sent their apparently ‘placid’ fans into raptures with a wonderful chipped goal from just outside the area. A phenomenal finish, which some pundits were quick to claim – erroneously – as unintentional; a misdirected cross. It was a fitting climax to a dream-like sequence of events for Hodgson’s heroic charges.

There was, therefore, much to live up to later in the evening, as the second tranche of ties kicked off. Liverpool were keen to avoid joining Juve as giants felled from both European competitions in one season; hosting Lille to whom they trailed 0-1 from the first leg. Frequently derided midfielder Lucas Leiva was the unlikely catalyst for the Reds’ comeback – buying a 7^th minute penalty with a surging run into the penalty area. Steven Gerrard, slowly returning to form, rattled in the spot-kick.

Mickael Landreau saved two further efforts (including one from the boot of the unshackled Lucas) before Lille’s lively starlet Eden Hazard http://www.footballingworld.com/2008/11/15/hazards-perception-makes-him-one-to-watch-0151/ burst through the central defensive gap left by Jamie Carragher’s dereliction of duty, only to fire the visitors’ best chance of an away goal straight at the formidable figure of Pepe Reina. Casting an eye over proceedings at Anfield – most particularly the input of his captain Javier Mascherano and the reliably erratic Emiliano Insúa – was Argentina head coach, Diego Maradona.

Maradona’s singing son-in-law Sergio Agüero http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzwWtlSbzng&feature=fvw used all his cunning and penalty-box nous to snatch two away goals for Atlético Madrid at Sporting Lisbon. El Kun’s timely emergence from a goal-scoring slump cancelled out Miguel Veloso’s soft free kick and Liédson’s headed goal. Sporting will feel hard done by; having a strong penalty claim (for Tomáš Ujfaluši’s clear trip on Carlos Saleiro) rejected in the final twenty minutes.

Liverpool, visibly lifted by the nature of their thumping win over EPL dead-ducks Portstmouth on Monday, were largely dominant against Ligue 1 title-chasers Lille. Fernando Torres wrapped up progress for the tournament favourites; latching onto a long-ball to punish a defensive lapse by Adil Rami. Any remaining belligerence from Les Dogues was finally becalmed as Torres knocked in a rebound from Gerrard’s shot. With that pair returning to peak form and fitness, few would bet against the Merseysiders salvaging more than just pride from their troubled season.

The pick of the night’s other ties came in Brussels, where Anderlecht staged a Fulham-esque renaissance; fighting back from an early 1-4 aggregate deficit to draw even at 5-5 with Ruud van Nistelrooy’s Hamburg. Mladen Petrić finally killed off the Belgians’ hopes with a decisive late goal (sound familiar England fans?) About one hundred miles east, in Liège, Panathinaikos, who turfed-out favourites Roma in the last 32, quietly succumbed to Standard; 4-1 winners on aggregate.

Double Russian champions Rubin Kazan, enjoying a colourful European campaign which took in ‘that glorious night in Barcelona’, took defending German champs Wolfsburg to extra time. The VW-backed club were steered into the final eight though by Stuttgart-bound Christian Gentner’s composed finish, with penalties just seconds away.

Hosting Everton’s group-stage conquerors Benfica, Marseille took a 70^th minute aggregate lead through talismanic skipper Mamadou Niang. But late goals from Maxi Pereira and Brazilian striker Alan Kardec turned the tie on its head at a wild and windy Stade Velodrome, before Hatem Ben Arfa was dismissed for a spiteful kick on Kardec in the dying moments http://www3.five.tv/footballonfive/highlights-marseille-v-benfica. Both sides – Zenit and Shakhtar – that knocked OM out in the past two seasons went on to win the UEFA Cup. What price the Eagles to triumph this year?

We’ll soon find out who the Lisbon giants face next – in the tantalising draw for the quarter and semi-finals; made this afternoon, at 12 noon.

The former Oldham, Crystal Palace and Charlton boss is not exactly the inspirational appointment they hoped for, or indeed expected, when chairman Adam Pearson promised not to “leave any stone unturned” in his search for a new boss.

Dowie seems a nice enough bloke, but it can’t be denied his Premier League record is worrying – the last three sides he has either coached or managed in the division ended up being relegated. There will be a huge question mark over whether the former West Ham striker can galvanise his side enough to climb out of the relegation zone.

Chairman Adam Pearson put a brave face on things, choosing to focus on Dowie’s hunger and desire to prove people wrong after relative failures at Coventry and QPR. But it seems Dowie wasn’t his first choice, with the likes of Mark Hughes and Alan Curbishley reportedly turning down the job.

Despite the disappointing replacement, it seems clear Brown had to go. Reports of dressing room unrest, contract disputes and the now infamous scrap in front of the WI presumably rendered Brown’s position untenable. It appears a change simply had to be made.

Pearson will hope, regardless of Dowie’s somewhat unglamorous reputation, the new manager factor will push his side up the table.

Sometimes the relief of a fresh start and a chance to prove themselves once more can inspire a team to a run of good results – which is exactly what Hull need right now.

However there is no guarantee of this happening, just ask Brian Laws, who has won just once in eleven games since taking charge at Turf Moor. Indeed, the Premier League betting seems to suggest both Hull and Burnley are doomed.

If Hull fail to beat Portsmouth at the weekend and there is no honeymoon period, it would be hard see the benefit of sacking Brown and bringing Dowie at this stage of the season.

Indeed, it seems likely that come the summer Dowie will be back on telly talking about England’s Football World Cup odds rather preparing for another season in the Premier League with Hull.

Beckham’s injury is a personal disaster but not a footballing one.  England have enough right-wing and central midfield talent to doubt whether he was a certainty for inclusion in Fabio Capello’s World Cup 23 anyway.  Even if Aaron Lennon doesn’t recover from his groin injury come June, there is still Shaun Wright-Phillips, James Milner, Theo Walcott and Ashley Young to cover.

But Beckham’s dedication to the cause – how many other major players retire from international football long before 35 – which frequently saw him flying halfway across the world to be an England substitute, means he deserves a happier end to his international career, for that is what this injury must surely be.

How many other players, when it becomes clear that the England coach prefers another in their position, have thrown their toys out of the pram?  Beckham’s basic respect for international football put him a notch above Paul Scholes and Jamie Carragher, whose premature international retirements have reduced England’s options in key positions; particularly in the case of the Liverpool defender.

***

Amid the attention given to Beckham’s injury, it is easy to forget that Milan shaved another three points off Internazionale’s lead at the top of Serie A over the weekend; Inter lost 3-1 at Palermo on Friday night and Milan found a 92nd minute winner in a tight match against Chievo at the San Siro.  Substitute Clarence Seedorf produced a purposeful run and a breathtaking finish into the top corner to break a deadlock with Milan reduced to ten men, their substitutions already made before Beckham limped off.

Though Seedorf is more than a little older than the Italian, his goal could well be Milan’s ‘Macheda moment’; that is, a brilliant late goal to earn his side an undeserved victory to drag momentum his side’s way in a tight title chase between two bitter local rivals.

Macheda, of course, turned and found the bottom corner of Aston Villa’s goal last April, a goal which gave Manchester Utd the belief that nobody would catch them in the title chase.  Manchester Utd had gone into that match on the back of debilitating defeats to Liverpool and Fulham but came out of it with the biggest morale boost they could have given themselves.

In favour of Milan, unlike Manchester Utd last season, is that their main title rivals are stuttering.  Inter have won just one of their last six league matches and are struggling to break down increasingly determined Serie A defences.  They will have it all to do to impose themselves on Chelsea in tomorrow night’s UEFA Champions League second leg.  As the Corriere dello Sport put it, “Inter are not Inter any more.”

***

Some of the pressure on Inter to eliminate Chelsea comes from the fact that Bayern Munich knocked out Fiorentina on away goals last week.  There is currently a very close battle going on between Italy and Germany for a place in the top three of the UEFA co-efficient rankings, which entitles a league to four places in the Champions League.

Italy currently occupy the slot behind Spain and England but Bayern’s progress to the quarter finals has come at the expense of Juventus and Fiorentina, which could be enough to tip the balance in favour of the Bundesliga.

That said, having seen Juventus throw away a 3-0 lead at home to Siena, Serie A’s bottom side, would we really miss seeing Italian teams beneath Inter, Milan and Roma in Europe’s premier club competition?  Milan were just as feeble at Old Trafford as had Roma been in 2007 and are no longer competitive at the highest level.  That David Beckham was their best player after coming on as a substitute says a lot.  Siena’s fight back said a lot about the fading of Italy’s star and you can bet Fulham were listening.

Italy’s already long odds on retaining the World Cup are stretched further following the news that Alessandro Nesta, still the country’s best central defender at 33, is out for the rest of the season.  Though they have plenty of good fullbacks, they are struggling to find top class central defenders, an unheard of problem for the Italians.

***

Burton Albion 5, Cheltenham Town 6?  Pah!  That’s nothing.  Last year, visitors to Mill Lane (Pickering Town’s home ground, as if you need to be told), saw two 6-4s; a win over relegation cannon fodder Eccleshill Utd in January and a defeat to Long Eaton Utd in October.  In between, travelling Pikes fans endured a 6-4 defeat in the President’s Cup (how nice of Mr Obama to sponsor a trophy for the Northern Counties East League) at Winterton Rangers.

So, Cheltenham, we laugh in the face of your solitary 11-goal thriller.  And our pies are probably better.

***

The usual anti-BBC guff in the British press this week as the corporation reveal plans for their coverage of this summer’s World Cup.  They are spending a reported £1m to construct their main presentation studio on the roof of a Cape Town hospital with a view of Table Mountain.

Unfavourable comparisons are being made with ITV, who are sending 140 staff compared with around 270 from the Beeb, but ITV’s operation is much simpler as they have no radio coverage and less internet service.

Philip Davies, Tory MP for Shipley in West Yorkshire, has spouted the usual nonsense about the BBC always sending more personnel to cover major events around the world but their travelling party in significantly more modest than those of other countries, particularly from South America and western Europe.

Besides, many BBC Sport staff will spend this June where they are every summer: at Wimbledon.  And how does the figure set to be spent compare with the cost of producing, say, Eastenders or Strictly Come Dancing, neither of which can possibly be termed public service broadcasting?

If I were director of BBC Sport, I’d take Five Live off air for the first weekend of the World Cup and make everybody get by with TalkSport.  TV coverage should consist of one commentator only, cutting straight back to a studio in Salford Quays on the stroke of full time, rather like the German coverage of the 2006 competition.  After three days everyone will be begging to pay double the licence fee to get the BBC service back to normal.

Beckham was, of course, due to fill a back-up slot; covering the right-wing and central midfield positions; offering technical assurance and set-piece wizardry as and when necessary. He was the ‘Plan B’ for England’s right flank, which, for all their innate talents, has yet to have been rightfully claimed as his own by any of its most recent occupants. Theo Walcott, Aaron Lennon, even Shaun Wright-Phillips, have all dazzled intermittently, while James Milner’s assiduous reliability and impressive versatility has pushed the Aston Villa midfielder to the forefront of late.

Given that Lennon’s recurrent injury woes appear likely to rule the Tottenham man out of the running, it looks as though Walcott, for all his faults, remains the favourite for the right-wing berth. Beckham’s enforced withdrawal, however, frees up space for another wide-man.

So, what if there was an orthodox winger available to Capello; someone with undoubted potential, the ability to drift past his marker, to easily beat a full-back with a trick, then cross onto a fivepence (even tougher than a sixpence, you’ll agree). What if such a player was so highly-regarded that both Chelsea and Real Madrid were apparently interested in securing his signature before he moved from his boyhood club in a deal worth an ample £7 million – during a depressed mid-season transfer market and in spite of having only a few months remaining on his contract. And, as if to confirm his potential for divinity, this young man is predominantly left-footed. Now, surely the astute Italian wouldn’t fail to select such a player?

Well he’s certainly considering it. Adam Johnson’s call-up to the preliminary squad for the Egypt game confirmed that Signor Capello has the Sunderland-born starlet in his thoughts.

Already it is apparent that Johnson has the raw talent to follow in the footsteps of the best British wingers of recent years. The ‘new Giggs’ labels were as premature as they were predictable, especially given his recent move to Manchester, but it is no surprise to discover that the Welsh wizard, whose videos Johnson studied at length while in the Middlesbrough youth ranks, was the “hero” of Johnson’s footballing youth.

Comparisons to Chris Waddle also hold a grain of authenticity – what with their North East backgrounds, willingness to attack full-backs at speed, and penchant for pinpoint left-footed crosses. The forthright former Marseille star cited Johnson’s rapid progress in the footnotes of his scathing (though fairly accurate) portrayal of Walcott earlier this month. The young Arsenal forward was, of course, himself a World Cup wildcard four years ago. Perhaps Johnson, his senior by two years, can fill that ‘role’ this time around.

His manager at Eastlands has shown great belief in Johnson’s ability – offering him an unexpected full debut against Bolton, where the winger earned the Man of the Match award, and again turning to the 22-year-old as Sunday’s game at the Stadium of Light threatened to slip away from City’s cast of stars. In front of his family, all Sunderland fans, Johnson, with stunning virtuosity, jinked to the edge of the penalty area before unleashing an unstoppable curling shot into the extreme top-left corner of the previously unbeatable Craig Gordon’s net. Salvaging a valuable point in the chase for Champions League football, Johnson enjoyed the plaudits of Roberto Mancini, who, it has frequently been reported, has had discussions with Fabio Capello about his new protégé.

The praise was not unfettered by a certain degree of realism, however.

“Adam is a good player, but is a young player,” said Mancini.

He continued: “I think that in the future, he will be a good player for the national team, but now I don’t know. The England national team has a good manager and he knows very well Adam Johnson and he will decide.”

The man himself acknowledges the size of his task in jumping from the Championship to the World Cup in six months. Lest this be held against the youngster, it should be noted that both Jonás Gutiérrez and Fabricio Coloccini are likely to feature for Argentina, having played second-tier football all season long. Robert Koren, in and out of favour at West Brom, will captain Slovenia at the finals.

Just last week Johnson, who has won 19 caps for the under-21s, presciently said: “Who knows? If there are a couple of injuries and I have some great form between now and the end of the season, you never know. I’ve come a long way in a short space of time.

“Somebody always comes in late, and if you know the England manager is watching, you can’t help but try a bit harder. It’s up to me to do well for City and, if we get fourth spot with me playing a big part in it, then you never know.”

Certainly, his early showings back in the Premier League have overshadowed the more prosaic form of the man he understudied at Middlesbrough, Stewart Downing, whose crossing ability is undoubted, but lacks the capacity for the unexpected that Johnson has to offer. Meanwhile, the immensely-talented Joe Cole’s return from injury has been so far underwhelming (perhaps untimely contract discussions have played their part) and Steven Gerrard has been, and always will be, an unwilling ‘narrow’ left-winger. In the negative margin, though, Capello must consider whether he can afford to include another inexperienced left-sided player, with either Stephen Warnock or Leighton Baines set to deputise for Ashley Cole and Wayne Bridge.

Following that dazzling full Premier League debut against Bolton, Johnson received a standing ovation from the City faithful upon his late withdrawal, having outshone Carlos Tévez and Emmanuel Adebayor – his partners in a three-man attack (in which he figured on the right http://mcfc.co.uk/News/Team-news/2010/March/Johnson-ready-to-turn-Premier-League-inside-out). Should the confident young product of the fruitful Boro academy continue to have such a decisive impact on the absorbing ‘race for fourth place’, then a fairytale trip to South Africa is certainly not beyond his compass.

Useful both for hard pitches and astrotuf surfaces, you will need to a have a minimum standard of ability to play in these flashy yellow boots!

Puma is not the most famous brand with regards to football boots. Instead, their campaign a few years ago with the slippery Frenchman Robert Pires offered stylish red boots to walk down the street. This new yellow offering might also fall into this category. Although bright, these Puma soccer shoes make the necessary statement about your fashion credentials.

They are not boots you want to use on a muddy day – instead they are a perfect pair of soccer shoes for the summer months. A play in the park while also looking the part. Scoring a wonder goal and impersonating Mr Ronaldo…

“When Cristiano Ronaldo left Old Trafford in June 2009, it was to the sound of one hand clapping.”  Michael Henderson, 50 People Who Fouled Up Football.

By eight o’clock yesterday evening, Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo had each put their team 1-0 up in the home leg of their UEFA Champions League second round tie.  Two of the three main challengers to Lionel Messi’s status as the world’s finest footballer had both taken their cue to give their sides control of the second leg ties.  But what happened over the following 75 minutes of football would provide strong ammunition for those who argue that Rooney has overtaken his former Portuguese team-mate at Old Trafford in the global pecking order.

Though Rooney will do well to beat Cristiano Ronaldo’s 42-goal season tally from 2007-08 – he currently has 30 with a maximum of fourteen matches remaining – he has managed to help Manchester Utd forget about losing their Portuguese superstar to Real Madrid last summer.

Ronaldo’s performance for Real Madrid against Lyon matched that of the team as a whole: patchy, underwhelming and unreliable.  He scored a fine goal in the sixth minute, driving low through France international goalkeeper Hugo Lloris’s legs but that was as good as it got.  But there was a sense that Ronaldo and Kaká were treading on each other’s toes for the rest of the evening, until the 2007 FIFA World Player of the Year was unceremoniously withdrawn to make way for Raúl just after Miralem Pjanic’s equalizer.

With Esteban Granero, Kaká and Ronaldo playing behind the main striker, in-form Argentine Gonzalo Higuaín, Real Madrid should have constituted an awesome attacking unit.  But Ronaldo spent much of the first half arguing with Higuaín, whom he felt was too slow in releasing team-mates in better scoring positions.  Ronaldo’s technique is not matched by an ability to work as part of a unit in which he is not the only superstar.

Part of the problem is that nobody quite knows what Ronaldo is.  When he was signed, whom were Real Madrid replacing?  Surely not Inter-bound Wesley Sneijder, a more orthodox central playmaker.  Nor Ruud van Nistelrooy; Ronaldo wants to lead the line but he is not a centre forward.  His problem is neither inadequate technique nor even a lack of physical exertion.  It is that he applies himself in the wrong way; he wants to carry the team on his own.  But so does Kaká as he did at Milan and so Karim Benzema as was his way at Lyon.  And then there’s Real Madrid’s prince regent, Raúl, still on the scene.

Manchester Utd, man-for-man, have a significantly inferior squad to that of Real Madrid.  Take Rooney and Ronaldo out, Real still have Kaká, Benzema, Rafael van der Vaart, Xabi Alonso, Sergio Ramos, Higuaín.  United have many seven-out-of-ten players but only one world class one; Rio Ferdinand’s fitness now surely precludes him from such status.

Yet Rooney helps bring out the best in players who are not top draw.  Luis Antonio Valencia, Nani and Park Ji-Sung each looked excellent against Milan but that is because Rooney’s workrate, footballing brain and control of ego means he makes things easy for his team-mates.  By learning how to head a ball so ruthlessly, Rooney makes any half-decent cross look menacing.  With Rooney’s movement so perceptive, even an ageing Gary Neville looked for all the world like a Grade A wing-back.

When Ronaldo was injured earlier in the season, some suggested that Real Madrid looked better without him.  He can suffocate team-mates with his desire to be the centre of attention.  At Old Trafford, his presence forced Rooney out to the wing, where he is less comfortable and effective.  Perhaps his ideal rôle would be at a club like Milan, desperately in need of pace, energy and a new talisman.

Generally speaking, the more talented the player, the more tempted we are to concentrate on their weaknesses.  Peter Crouch, a skilful, intelligent and resourceful forward, is often lambasted for being slow and ungainly, despite neither pace nor grace ever being essential to his style of play.  Does Rooney have a weakness?  It used to be his temper but no longer.  He never needed to be a great header of a ball; he has become one for the heck of it and turned Manchester Utd from a good team back into a great one.  His fitness laughs in the face of the neurotic English media who fret about him suffering ‘burn out’ come the World Cup.

But Rooney’s new-found maturity, perhaps a result of marriage and fatherhood, has been the last brick in the wall of his footballing education.  He never gives the impression of wanting to be the centre of attention.  With England, he cheerfully plays in a different rôle, recognizing the importance of Emile Heskey in holding the ball up to bring Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard and Aaron Lennon into the game.

Rooney will never be a George Best, nor a Ronaldo.  He does not believe he is a superstar, a talisman or an artist.  He is under the impression, perhaps mistaken, that he is a football player.

When Cristiano Ronaldo became public enemy number one in England in July 2006, it was not for pointing out to Horacio Elizondo, the Argentine referee in charge of the England-Portugal World Cup quarter final, that Rooney might have stamped on Ricardo Carvalho.  It was for the wink; the arrogance that everything had been down to him, and that the Portuguese (and Scottish) public could thank him later.

Ronaldo is a gloriously gifted footballer but too often a silly man.  Since that afternoon is Gelsenkirchen, Rooney has grown up while Ronaldo has flounced and flirted tiresomely with Real Madrid for the last two years of his Manchester Utd career.  The Portuguese is not remembered at Old Trafford with the affection afforded David Beckham, as evidenced by his reception last night, despite Beckham being a much more limited player.  Beckham’s speciality was the free-kick goal, which saved club and country on numerous occasions.  Ronaldo’s is the step-over, designed to show us all how skilful he is.  But what do they actually achieve?

But Real Madrid are obsessed with winning the UEFA Champions League.  That’s true in any season but more so given that Real Madrid have been knocked out in the second round – that’s the Round of 16 in UEFA speak – every year since 2005, when Thierry Henry skipped merrily through their defence to give Arsenal victory in the Bernabéu.

More so still, given that this season’s Final is to be held at that very stadium, the first time the European Cup Final has been played in Madrid since the days you could freely call it the European Cup Final without UEFA’s marketing office ringing you up and making aggrieved noises down the telephone line.  That match, way back in 1980, was won by Nottingham Forest.

Merely winning La Liga is just a distraction this season for Pérez, who dreams of having Real Madrid’s name up in neon lights come 22 May.  As Cristiano Ronaldo commented back in December, “All this club talks about is Champions League, Champions League, Champions League but we shouldn’t because it puts a lot of pressure on the players.  It is better to continue doing what we’re doing, which is winning games.  Good things will happen but the players don’t need any added pressure.”

Pérez would have done well to forget the lights in neon and concentrate on nights in Lyon, which have caught Real Madrid out enough times in recent years.  In 2005, they were murdered 3-0 in their opening group fixture at the Stade Gerland.  Tormented as ever by the Brazilian free kick wizard Juninho, they were three down after half an hour and the rest of the match was a grotesque procession.

The following season’s campaign began in the same fashion, a 2-0 defeat.  Three weeks ago they went back, their team packed with stars, Lyon no longer dominant in the French championship.  One Jean Makoun strike later and it felt like déjà vu.  But the point is, in those two seasons when Real Madrid fell apart in group matches at the Gerland, Lyon followed up with a draw at the Bernabéu on matchday five.

On Wednesday evening, all of Real Madrid’s Champions League neuroses will return.  Can they defend?  Will the superstars gel?  Do the team believe they can win a knock-out tie, let alone the competition?  Manuel Pellegrini’s future at the club depends on the biggest match of the club’s season so far.  They should win, but the failure to score an away goal in the first leg will make them paranoid about conceding.  That familiar sense of panic could be their downfall.

***

What genius timing from the magisterial IFAB, the board in charge of the rules of the game on which the English, Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish FAs have permanent seats.  Their declaration that “the door is closed” on the use of technology in football was not only breathtaking in its arrogance (and stupidity) but conspired to filter through the wires just as Liam Ridgewell, the Birmingham City left-back, had a perfectly good goal not judged to have crossed the line in the FA Cup quarter final at Portsmouth.

But we’re not talking about technology.  There is no need for fancy gizmos, for which football would pay big corporations silly amounts of money, to judge whether a ball has crossed the line.  It simply requires a good ol’ television set and a radio link to the referee’s earpiece.  A fourth official, withdrawn from his current rôle of stalking the technical areas trying to make himself look anything other than superfluous, watching a monitor in the stands could have communicated within seconds the fact that a goal had been scored to Steve Bennett, the match referee.

Nobody, it should be remembered, wants this development more than match officials themselves.  But what irony that the English FA, who voted in favour of goal-line technology, are now seen as the enlightened progressives having for so long been the old farts holding the game back.

***

Of all the things we can look forward to in the summer, I am hotly anticipating at least one all-South American match in the second round.  Two sides from the continent have not met at the finals since 1998, when Brazil met Chile at the Parc des Princes in Paris.  That night, Iván Zamorano, the Chilean usurped in his rôle as talisman by his younger strike partner Marcelo Salas, played the game of his life having sung the anthem with as much gusto as has ever been summoned on a sporting field.  Brazil won 4-1 and it was Salas who scored Chile’s consolation but Zamorano was the man of the match.

Should Brazil, as is likely, win Group G and Chile finish runners-up to Spain in Group H, the sides would meet again at Ellis Park on a Monday night in late June.  Chile, with their fine attacking unit of striker Humberto Suazo and brilliant right-winger Alexis Sánchez would be a threat.

But better still would be an Argentina-Uruguay clash down the road at Soccer City the previous evening.  Argentina are strong favourites to win Group B, a status reinforced by Wednesday’s commanding 1-0 win in Germany, while Uruguay could realistically finish second in Group A behind France or Mexico.  (It is surely too fanciful to imagine South Africa, held 1-1 at home by Namibia last week, to bother our wallcharts after 22 June.)

All Argentina-Uruguay matches are feisty, the rivalry between the two nations split by the Río de la Plata – the River Plate – has the feel of a club derby.  The match last October in Montevideo, in which Argentina sealed qualification for the World Cup, was deathly dull, but dull in an interesting way given the stakes.

Nor was it a particularly great game in the second round in 1986 in Puebla, Mexico, the last time the sides met at a World Cup.  Uruguay had been fined and warned about their future conduct by FIFA following their contemptible showing in the 0-0 draw with Scotland which saw them scrape through as one of the best 3rd placed teams.  They could not kick Diego Maradona and did not compete with Argentina as Pedro Pasculli scored the only goal in an Argentine win which should have been by a greater margin.

Slick, positive and combative, the triple Africa Cup of Nations champions are exactly the sort of team who get us excited at the World Cup.  One of the world’s most gifted midfield playmakers, Mohamed Aboutrika – whose decision to remain with Al-Ahly in the wealthy Egyptian league possibly explains his low profile relative to players of similarly immense ability – only started on the bench with Hassan Shehata opting to start with the eleven who kicked off the Cup of Nations Final against Ghana.

There are a few good sides who haven’t qualified for South Africa but, judging by the way they limply surrendered to England home and away, Croatia are not in Egypt’s league.  Sweden rarely set the pulses racing and the Czech Republic are in such chaos that defeat in Scotland doesn’t really register as a surprise.

Perhaps Russia peaked at Euro 2008; Andrei Arshavin has not been at his best for Arsenal this season and their 1-1 draw in Hungary last night hardly suggests that they would have taken the World Cup by storm.  Nevertheless, Diniyar Bilyaletdinov, Konstantin Zyryanov, Roman Pavlyuchenko and Yuri Zhirkov would illuminate any international championship and, had they not lost their World Cup play-off to Slovenia on away goals, they would have the confidence that should always go with being coached by Guus Hiddink at a major tournament.

Young promising players are also coming through: Rubin Kazan striker Aleksandr Bukharov and CSKA Moscow’s teenage attacking midfielder Alan Dzagoev have both impressed in this season’s UEFA Champions League.  Russia should qualify for, and impress at, Euro 2012.

We will not have the vibrant Turks at the World Cup; they lit up Euro 2008 with their constant goal threat, never-say-die attitude and sensational support from their diaspora in Switzerland and Turkey.  Bosnia-Herzegovina, with their fine attacking quintet of Edin Dzeko, Vedad Ibisevic, Zvjezdan Misimovic, Sejad Salihovic and Miralem Pjanic, would surely offer more menace in South Africa than Greece or Slovakia.

Egypt, though, bring genuine excitement not just because of their spirit or the boisterous nature of their fans but because they are a genuinely top class team.  Their passing frequently cut England open at Wembley; only tight marking and alert defending from John Terry, Matthew Upson and holding midfielder Gareth Barry kept them at bay.  In Mohamed Zidan they have a ruthless striker; how assuredly he finished in the first half, producing an authoritative shot that Robert Green could not reasonably have been expected to save.

Perhaps Egypt’s quality comes from their collective experience.  Last night’s starting XI had, between them, 793 caps, with no player having fewer than 34.  Yet they are not an old team.  Yes, Ahmed Hassan is nearly 35 and last night’s international was his 174th for Egypt, but many key players will still be around come the 2014 qualifiers.  They have the air of a club side; cohesive, fluid and self-assured.

And yet England beat them, by a decent scoreline of 3-1.  Yes, England, that team who have no competent goalkeeper, every defender in the country in hospital, a star striker certain to do his metatarsal in come late April and whose former captain went round to a team-mate’s house on Christmas Eve and took a pickaxe to the children’s presents.  Or so you might be forgiven for thinking were you to concentrate on the peculiarly neurotic British media.

Indeed, had Frank Lampard’s finishing not deserted him before half time, perhaps it would have been more emphatic.  England are the real deal; not remotely as good as Spain – nobody is – but certainly the equal of Germany, Argentina and Holland, when at full strength, and probably superior to the becalmed Italians.  Without question, they could teach France or Portugal a thing or to, particularly when it comes to scoring.

There are usually a good number of pub debates leading up to a World Cup or European Championship.  One such in 2010 is to consider, if you could replace any three teams in the World Cup with any other three, in the interests of good football, which would they be?  I’d go for North Korea, New Zealand and Algeria to sling their collective hooks.  The first two as they have benefited from the over-representation of Asia and Oceania, the last due to their atrocious discipline at the Cup of Nations.

I have long advocated merging Oceania and Asia – in footballing terms – and dividing it into an east and west ‘divisions’, with two countries qualifying for the finals from each, with the third best teams playing off for a berth at the World Cup.  This would have prevented this year’s absence of a single team from the Middle East while also preventing New Zealand from getting, in effect, a leg up to a play-off against a mid-ranking Asian side not merited by their ability.

In their place: Egypt, obviously, who mystifyingly lost their tie-breaker with a very ordinary and short-tempered Algerian team; Croatia, who suffered from not replacing ageing defenders early enough during the group stage; and Russia, if only in the hope that Arshavin might return once again look like the world-class player he appeared to be in 2008.

Should you fancy another pint, you might also have a go with: if Yugoslavia still existed, what would their World Cup team look like?  A side of Pletikosa, Corluka, Ivanovic, Vidic, Pranjic, Krasic, Stankovic, Misimovic, Pjanic, Olic and Dzeko would be pretty formidable, with players like Josip Simunic, Eduardo da Silva, Milan Jovanovic and Vedad Ibisevic in the squad alongside the dangerous Montenegrins Mirko Vucinic and Stevan Jovetic.

Curiously, wiping the collapse of Communism from history would not similarly strengthen a modern Soviet Union side.  Few Ukrainian, Georgian or other players from former-USSR nations would get into the present-day Russia team.

Anyhoo, what of the other World Cup contenders?  Perhaps last night’s most interesting result came in Munich, where havoc beat harmony as an inconsistent Argentina team achieved their best result of Diego Maradona’s stewardship, defeating Germany 1-0 and deservedly so.  Maradona, surprisingly, picked a sensible team, with Internazionale centre-back Walter Samuel returning and Ángel di María looking dangerous on the left wing in a balanced and threatening 4-4-2.  Gonzalo Higuaín, finally, is being trusted with the regular centre-forward rôle.

Spain, as expected, wiped the floor with France in St-Denis, winning 2-0 with first-half goals from David Villa and Sergio Ramos.  Spain should surely now be regarded as runaway favourites for the World Cup, particularly after Brazil’s rather lifeless performance against Ireland at the Emirates Stadium on Tuesday, helped on their way by an own goal by Keith Andrews.

Italy had a Giorgio Chiellini header disallowed in their scoreless draw with Cameroon in Monaco, while Holland beat England’s first group stage opponents the United States 2-1 in Amsterdam.  The USA only really started playing in the last few minutes, with Carlos Bocanegra proving his threat at set-pieces heading home a late consolation goal.  Portugal showed why they are not really regarded as World Cup contenders with an unremarkable 2-0 win over China.

The main worry about the finals is the home side, who yesterday drew 1-1 with a little-heralded Namibian side in Durban.  South Africa are in a tough group; Mexico will be favourites to win the opening match, Uruguay were impressive in last night’s 3-1 win in Switzerland and France, even in their current sorry state, should have enough to beat them.  But this is the World Cup and matters will probably not be that simple.

This isn’t a slight at Crouch’s abilities, he is an established Premier League player, but his record in an England shirt is up there with the best.

Another two goals in midweek against Egypt brought his tally up to 20 in 37 appearances and he must be in contention for a starting role in South Africa. Granted he does tend to score goals against inferior opposition to boost the tally, but anyone who has a habit of putting the ball in the net is handy to have around.

However Crouch’s greatest asset – his considerable height – also works against him. Too often when he is on the field the ball is directed long to his head. Fabio Capello admits is a useful weapon to have in his armoury, but a direct game is not an effective permanent tactic at international level – the defenders are just too good.

Because of this he is often consigned to the bench along with another alternative, the speedy Jermaine Defoe.

But even in his fleeting appearances he makes himself hard to ignore. If Capello can ensure players aren’t lured into the temptation of playing it long all the time, he could yet be our (not so) secret weapon at the World Cup.

The defence was another area that came under scrutiny, with three of Capello’s first-choice players sidelined. Debutant Leighton Baines looked solid but I was surprised Stephen Warnock, the other candidate for Ashley Cole’s left-back slot, was not given a run out. His five minute appearance against Trinidad and Tobago remains his only England cap to date. Perhaps Capello made his mind up after seeing them train? After all, there are precious few warm-up matches left before the big kick-off.

In the middle Matthew Upson will be disappointed with his slip in the build up to Egypt’s goal. The West Ham player is a solid enough defender but small errors like that are crucial at this level and will be punished. With doubts over the fitness over Rio Ferdinand a World Cup birth is up for grabs, but more errors like the one on Wednesday will see Upson drop down the worryingly short list of deputies.

The World Cup betting odds make England third favourites to win the competition, but they will need to address their defensive frailties if they are to stand any chance of going all the way.

Meanwhile, FA Cup football returns this weekend and the sides are just one game away from a Wembley semi-final.

Chelsea will play Stoke and it seems more than likely the Blues will feature on this year’s FA Cup final betting slips.

Was it really necessary, though, so soon after the event, for various newspapers to print graphic pictures of the injury, some even accompanied by helpful archive shots of David Busst, Eduardo da Silva or Marcin Wasilewski?  I write listening to the Times football podcast, appended by a photograph of Ramsey’s injury.  I am perfectly capable of understanding what a broken leg is without needing to be subjected to what we might term ‘injury porn’ and those with a personal connection to one of the players are hardly likely to want to see such illustrations.  At least Sky Sports, probably aware that Ofcom, or whomever it might concern, are only a telephone call away, showed good decency in not replaying the incident, as indeed they did with Eduardo’s injury in 2008.

Indeed, we may hope that Stoke City’s Glenn Whelan, the evidently sensible and quick-witted Irish international midfielder, has spared Ramsey a certain amount of trauma by holding his head in a manner preventing the Welshman from seeing his own injury.

Sympathy for Ramsey, though, should not prevent rational analysis of the nature of the tackle from Ryan Shawcross, who was guilty of little more than a heavy touch and a slightly late challenge for the ball.  You might most accurately say that Ramsey was the victim of a freak accident; so quick is the game played in the Premier League that a fraction of a second either way can be the difference between a perfectly mundane tackle which all spectators have forgotten twenty seconds later and a broken leg.

It is barely necessary to say that Shawcross’s challenge was not malicious.  In my lifetime I have only seen one player deliberately try to seriously injury another by means other than than callous use of the elbow – hello, Ben Thatcher – and he was an Irishman playing for Manchester Utd.  Those who want Shawcross done for assault – a charge which implies malicious intent – belong in straitjackets.

I am far from convinced, even, that Shawcross was being particularly careless, certainly not to a degree worse than happens routinely in English football, particularly in lower divisions.  It is simply that on this occasion the resulting injury was significantly worse than usual.  English football’s problem, in this respect, is not that players are callous thugs – not, at least, in professional football – but that we have a skewed attitude as to what constitutes ‘commitment’.

Imagine, for a moment, that Shawcross had realized he had failed to control the ball, judged correctly that any attempt to win it back of Ramsey would be at best speculative and, with full regard for his opponent’s wellbeing, refused to make such a challenge.  The reaction from the stands and the dugout would have been, to put it mildly, negative.  Too many managers and fans demand institutional carelessness from their players, labouring under the illusion that it constitutes effort.

***

Just in case you’ve forgotten, the World Cup doesn’t begin for more than three months.  Wednesday evening’s match at Wembley between England and Egypt is a friendly, so there is no reason to whip the nation into a neurosis regarding the injuries to Rio Ferdinand, Glenn Johnson and Ashley Cole – all of whom are scheduled to be fine come 12 June and the match which matters against the United States.

Indeed, there is a sound argument for not playing Wayne Rooney against Egypt.  We don’t need a friendly to know that he is a superb player so perhaps it would be best used to give Carlton Cole ninety minutes to allow Fabio Capello to make an educated decision on whether to include the West Ham Utd player as a fifth striker in England’s squad come June.

Furthermore, England actually have some goalkeepers; David James, Joe Hart and Robert Green.  Yes, goalkeepers!  Perfectly competent ones!  From England!  Gadzounds, run to the hills!  We may not have a modern day Gordon Banks or Peter Shilton but, frankly, who does?  Certainly not Holland, Portugal, Argentina, France or Germany.  Yes, René Adler is having a decent season for Bayer Leverkusen, currently second in the Bundesliga, and Hugo Lloris looked decent for France against Ireland, but neither is appreciably better than Hart, who is in fine form for Birmingham City.

Aaron Lennon is also injured, so one last chance for Theo Walcott and Shaun Wright-Phillips to fight it out for the rôle of understudy right-winger in the World Cup XXIII.  But, just before you reach for the lithium, Lennon will be back in plenty of time to catch the plane to Rustenburg.

***

If you think England have problems at the back, just be thankful you don’t support the world champions.  Italy’s typical back four – Gianluca Zambrotta, Fabio Cannavaro, Giorgio Chiellini and Fabio Grosso – are in similar disarrat.  Zambrotta is injured, as is Grosso.  Cannavaro and Chiellini, along with understudy central defender Nicola Legrottaglie all play for Juventus, who are currently defending like a cat’s whoopsy.  Other decent international-standard Italian defenders are pretty thin on the ground.  And Gianluigi Buffon, their only top class goalkeeper, is also on the knack slab, currently being less than ably deputized by Alex Manninger.

Or France, who have just recalled Jean-Alain Boumsong in the absence of the injured Éric Abidal, whom Raymond Domenech plays in the centre of defense even though he is a left-back.  The best available defensive partner for William Gallas is Roma’s Philippe Mexès but Domenech doesn’t like him, so others appear in his stead, like Adil Rami of Lille who spent the weekend gifting the winning goal to Auxerre.

***

It is Egypt’s first match at Wembley on Wednesday but not the first time we’ve seen Egyptian players in this country.  Long before Mido, Hossam Ghaly, Mohamed Shawky and Amr Zaki were plying their trade with Premier League sides there was a brief trend for signing Egyptian players in the early twentieth century.

Striker Hussein Hegazi became the first African to play in the Football League with Fulham in 1911 before playing for Egypt at the Olympics in 1920.  Fellow squad member Tewfik Abdullah, an inside forward, would sign for Derby County after the 1920 Antwerp games, before Mustapha Kamel Mansour, Egypt’s goalkeeper in their sole match at the 1934 World Cup against Hungary, joined Queen’s Park while studying in Glasgow in 1938.

We may presume Mustafa Kamel’s name brought a certain amount of mirth to 1930s terraces in Scotland, but not to the extent of Abdullah’s first words on his début for Derby against Manchester City.  On taking the field, he was heard to ask, “Where’s my camel?”  It was a while until further examination revealed he was actually inquiring which of his opponents was Mickey Hamill, City’s wing-half from Belfast whom Abdullah had been instructed to mark.